I've been breaking down about every tiny thing and everywhere, so Big A suggested I should apply to take the rest of the semester off work.
I don't think that's a possibility...
1) H.R. won't go for it--I've seen colleagues work through bereavement, having cancer treatment, babies etc.
2) The classroom is the place where I feel most "normal" right now.
3) I can imagine what I'll be thinking about with all that "extra" time? OMG.
10 comments:
I hate to hear how much you are struggling. :( I think it’s best to not compare our griefs and how we work through things. One person’s grief is so different from another’s and what helps one person (the distraction of work) doesn’t help another person. The strength of your relationship with your mom makes this all harder and you are removed from your sister and dad so don’t have like a grieving community? I know you have your family and friends but it’s different than being around your family of origin…
I think you should do whatever you need to do to get through this time - whether that is a leave of absence or letting go of other commitments. Take care of yourself.
Btw I had to make my blog private because of the lawsuit I’m part of but you can request access if you want…. I’m not posting much so you arent missing anything… just more of an FYI…
If teaching is where you feel best, I agree it makes sense to keep doing it.
But if you do cut back on other commitments that might be healthy, especially if you use the time for rest. Be gentle with yourself.
You need to do what helps you best and if the classroom is it, then that's what you do. I suspect you are right about HR but if you have some sick or personal days left (I don't know if they do that with faculty as they did with staff because of a different contract than mine was) I wouldn't hesitate to take them and do something to fill them with beauty. A color tour (when we get some color down here) or an art museum or a day trip. A diversion -- solo or with a friend. Everyone grieves in very different ways, as you know. Just know all your friends care about you and if there is something you need, you only have to say.
Perhaps it is best to work right now, if the classroom is where you feel most normal. It was a kind suggestion, though. I’m sorry this is so difficult, and wish there were a better salve than time.
Oh, maya, I'm so sorry to hear this. Grief can be unpredictable and capricious. And everyone's experience with it is often so different.
Please give yourself permission to do what you know is best for you. And understand that it may be different each day. So many people want to help, and that can sometimes feel overwhelming, too.
Still, you know how to reach any of us, and we'll do whatever we can. XOXO
Oh my sweet friend. You are struggling so much right now, and of course you are. You are in the depths of so much grief. But I think you are right, I think you probably DO need to show up for your students because knowing you, showing up for someone else is going to be the best way for you to get yourself through this time. Sometimes keeping busy is the best way - you don't want too much time on your hands. Or, at least, I think that would be best, it would be for me for sure. xoxoxoxo
I totally get this. I was a mess after my dad died and I wanted to be at work, but I also didn't want to be crying randomly. It may be worth looking into a reduced schedule. But also, just being kind to yourself and giving yourself breaks as you need was really helpful to me.
I hear you about needing to do it to feel normal, but I hate that with HR it wouldn't be an option. Grief takes time, and understanding.
I'm sorry this is late, but I hope you were able to celebrate Diwali with light and love and some laughter XO.
I'm very late commenting here. If it's possible, I think it's better to keep working. Keeping to some sort of routine can be very helpful. But cut yourself a lot of slack- yes, you will still randomly break down in tears. That's completely normal and part of the grieving process. I know this is so hard- sending lots of love <3
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