Grocery store trip--not much except top-ups of fruit and veg since we already have too much of everything. And no Nu "treats."
Watering my plants--and no Nu to come find me for long talks about life, the universe, and everything.
Dinner time--we'll have to figure this one out. Do we still set the table when it's just me and Big A? Do we eat at the kitchen counter?
Bedtime--no hug-kiss-chat. There's still family chat, thankfully.
Pic: Max is feeling a bit extra clingy with Big A these days too.
20 comments:
Thinking of you as you adjust to a new (“Nu”? :)) normal!
You are an excellent and loving mom and the current evolution of your family doesn’t take anything away from that truth!
Are there any dishes that you and Big A enjoy eating, but any didn’t like?
❤️, Steph
Sending hugs! That is such a big adjustment for all of you! I think you should still set the table for you and Big A - unless it is something you didn’t enjoy doing and you’d prefer a really relaxed dinner.
Thinking of you, friend!! Xoxo
Oh, I remember these transitions when the boys left home. For a long time, I continued cooking for four! Everything sort of gradually worked itself out. We did things in a far more relaxed way, just the two of us.
I smiled and smiled reading that you made a couple of return trips for things that Nu forgot. I'd have done the same, and would have taken along some things not even asked for. (Just in case, you know.)
It's a big transition for sure! Personally I still set the table no matter what - even when it's just me! I like to keep that ritual intact. I remember one of Jake's friend's grandma, who did the kindergarten pickup and dropoff, back in the day, and who I got quite close to - she said to me that it was so important to keep the marriage going well because one day the kids leave and there you are, the two of you looking across the table at each other. Wow did that stick with me. And although Jake is still living here, sometimes it is just the two of us looking across the table at each other. The upside is plenty of noisy sex whenever. But it takes a while to get into the transition of the new normal.
Take care.
It's a loss, in a way. Not of Nu, but of the routine of life when Nu was part of the daily scene. And losses need to be grieved, not necessarily with the depth of the forever loss, but with a sweet, sad poignance of things changing for all of you, even the dogs. Yes, set the table if you like but see the possibility of spontaneity and flexibility -- eating in the garden or at the counter or on a picnic. They always say these partings are hard for kids, homesick and all and maybe they are. But I think it's just as hard for parents.
Yep- someone once told me I'd be "crying in the grocery store" after my son left for college. I thought that was ridiculous, until I was shopping, reached for the mangoes, (Paul's favorite fruit) realized he wasn't there to eat them, and tears welled up in my eyes. Of course it gets easier, but the dinner thing is a conundrum. It will probably feel strange and empty for a while!
Steph--you're such a problem solver! Thank you :)! The kids actually were terrific about eating adventurously. BUT they are allergic to nuts and A and I always joked about how we would just be throwing nuts into all our food when we were empty nesters!
Thank you, Lisa... I do think there's something nice about sitting around a table to relax after a long day...
I love knowing the relaxed rituals you have, Nance... Goals. (I'm still on the lookout for a fancy martini glass!)
Haha--I love all of this, Nicole! Things getting better is exactly what I need to hear!
Thank you!
Jeanie, excellent and hopeful suggestions all; thank you! The funny thing is NuNu has been ready for college since Kindergarten probably :D.
Jenny, I teared up with you reading this--that's how it was for me when I passed the bakery section this week.
We always eat at the table and it's just the two of us. It's a celebration of our time together! But you do what seems best for you. Be gentle. Transitions are so hard.
Oh, gentle hugs to all of you. Poor Max doesn’t understand, but will adjust. You and Big A do understand, and will adjust. My daughter still lives at home, so I haven’t had to go through this particular growth yet.
So much changes, from the food you buy, to the laundry basket filling up more slowly. Once when North was younger and at camp, I was hanging up laundry and noticing there were a lot fewer pinks, purples, and pastels, and a lot more white, grays, blues, and greens.
Thank you, Engie <3
Max looks bereft in this photo, doesn't he?
That's such a blessing for you, J!
I know it's a season of missing for you too Steph... Hugs!
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