I've been skulking around campus like an obnoxious person of mystery in sunglasses because I scratched my cornea two days ago (while helping myself to a tissue!!). And because it hurts, I've been heading home early and missed the faculty bake-off yesterday and the reception to celebrate LV's tenure today... Boo.
But I love this part of the semester because students are working on their research projects and I love seeing how fired up they're getting and all the ideas and connections that are taking off. Who knows where that will go. A paper on Baldwin's Sonny's Blues from last year's critical theory class just won first place in Sigma Tau Delta's (the English honorary society's) international convention that concluded in Pittsburgh last week and the society's journal editor asked the student if they could publish it!
Pic: At the WGS Symposium with one of my student's projects about rehabilitating body dysmorphia in dancers. Their point is that as dancers they always stare at themselves critically in the studio mirror so they wanted to use the mirror as a canvas to enable dancers to write empowering complimentary words for themselves and others.
And on compliments: A couple of weeks ago, when I gave the talk about the Trump administration's rhetoric, a student told me their friend who'd come to the talk with them said I was pretty and had terrific hair--I got so self-conscious, that instead of saying thank you and moving on, I blathered on about but did they like my talk. The next day, Lisa said something nice about my hair as well, and that weekend I reacted awkwardly when something similar happened. L's advice: "A simple thank you will suffice."
17 comments:
You are pretty and you have gorgeous hair!!! I will hear no backtalk about this, missy!
(that was me being very strict with you, but also hugging you at the same time. Maybe hugging and stroking your fabulous hair. Did I just make it weird? NOT DELETING)
Your poor cornea! Do you have drops for it? I hope it gets better soon.
Cute.
Ouch! I hope it's better soon. Have you been to a doctor?
Congrats to your former student on the paper.
Somehow I got behind in your posts (how did that happen???) About Nu- my daughter has been wearing the same pair of converse sneakers for a couple years now. They are literally falling apart and she won't get new ones. So... I think I'm going to get a pair and have them hidden away for the day where she shoes finally fall off her feet and she doesn't have anything else to wear to school. Until then... I guess it's their choice and it make sense to them.
Ouch, I hope your eye is getting better. And, about your hair! It is pretty and I'm envious! But- I'm not sure that was the right comment to give someone after they just gave a serious talk? I mean I guess a compliment is a compliment, but I would rather hear "intelligent", "effective," or something along those lines. If a man gave the talk would you tell him he looked handsome?
I'm now smiling while thinking of Nicole hugging you while petting your hair!! Lol. Your hair is gorgeous, though!! It can be tough to accept compliments. I often want to brush them aside or almost talk the person out of the compliment which is just silly. So I am also working on saying "thank you."
A scratched cornea sounds so painful, though!! I hope it's healing well!
Oooh! I was in Sigma Tau Delta!
About compliments: I feel like I said this before, but I've always been terrible about accepting them. My husband finally told me about it, and it made me feel awful. I know how much I love giving compliments, and I do it to make people feel good. It's wrong of me to make them sorry they bothered. I work on this all the time now, to just say a heartfelt Thank You.
Having said that, though, I do agree with Jenny. After an intellectual talk, a sort of superficial compliment seemed...well, superficial!
Oh no a scratched cornea! That sounds so uncomfortable.
Compliments are tricky. I like the approach of a simple thank you. It feels to me like there was a "trend" when I was growing up that you had to immediately reject the compliment. (Comment: "Your dress is great!" Response: "Oh gosh, I look like a heifer in this thing.") And that just isn't good for the compliment giver or receiver! Compliments do make me feel self-conscious though, so I get where you're coming from -- it feels more comfortable to deflect to something else. By the way, my kid responds to compliments with "I know," which is great from a confidence perspective, but not quite as grateful as I'd prefer!
As you know, a lot of men stop to talk to me when I'm walking Hannah. They always say "that's a good looking dog" and I have trained myself to say "thank you," even though I want to say "I did not birth her." LOL. Thank you is always the best way to go!
And your hair is WONDERFUL and the perfect accessory to your amazing fashion.
Ha, I'll take it! :) <3
(And I'm so mad that our meetup plans are on hold because of shitty politicians.)
I have OTC drops, and I am almost 90% healed--the human body is amazing.
Thanks!
Thank you, Steph; they are amazing.
I have OTC drops, and they seem to be working and my vision is ok. (I do not like going to the doctor and it's so much work...)
Jenny--I may have to get an extra pair for emergencies as well. I cannot fathom how canvas Converses are ok in Michigan snow, but they made it.
And THANK YOU! That was the other part that made me uncomfortable, especially since we had a guest in class that day... but what if the young person was feeling awkward, and I made it more awkward for them... aaargh.
Let's work on this as a group project, Lisa :)!
THANK YOU!
(My eyes is healing well, thank you!)
Nance--yes to that first part about not making people feel like they shouldn't have bothered or that they're being insincere. And also yes to the second part about a gracious thank you. And YES to the part about how you agree with Jenny. (Me too.) (Although, sometimes, I mean to say something neutral or nice, and it comes out differently than I intended, so I have some sympathy for the speaker, too.)
Omigosh, Suzanne! Toddler Nu used to respond to compliments with "I know," too!! I found it hilarious, and when the novelty wore off, a bit "not quite as grateful," as you say. But dithered about saying anything that might injure self-esteem etc.
LOL on "I did not birth her." You did pick Hannah though, so you have excellent taste.
Thank you, Engie :)!
It can be so very hard to accept compliments, to believe them. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies!
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