Monday, October 28, 2024

snap

I'm talking to myself...

Telling myself I had a very good weekend with JG sleeping over Friday, a Halloween party with Big A Saturday, and brunch with EM Sunday. 

Telling myself that I'm working hard at grading, prepping my regular classes + independent studies + the prison class + the Gaza class + editing the book. 

Telling myself that it's okay to feel anxious because there are plenty of reasons for anxiety...  I can even count off the reasons in every realm from the international, national, extended family, friends, family, physical... but I really am doing the best I can.

And also... doing that awful calculus of figuring out how many hours of sleep I can get if I fall asleep like right now... while the clock acts like an assshole countdown ticker... 

Pic: I spy a Great Blue Heron on the rapids of the Red Cedar.  From a long walk to clear my head early this morning.

14 comments:

Nance said...

Sigh.
I think we're all doing our best. It's an anxious time.

StephLove said...

You certainly have a lot going on, on top of the fact that these are anxious times for everyone.

Gillian said...

Take care

Anonymous said...

I have a friend that doesn’t like hugs, but really likes Subway sandwiches. When this friend needs some comfort I tell him I am sending a (virtual) Subway sandwich. And today, in that vein, I am sending you [insert your comfort of choice].

I am sorry things feel hard and fraught. ❤️

Revanche said...

It's definitely a fraught time in the wider world. When that's combined with the difficulties we encounter in day to day life, whew. It's a LOT a lot. May you also feel some comfort in knowing you are doing the best you can and that's all that we can ask of ourselves.

Jenny said...

Maya, I hope you got some sleep! Hugs : )

maya said...

I hope we're all heaving a deep breath of relief next week this time...

maya said...

Steph-- it's strange, but counting off my triggers is calming. haha

maya said...

Thank you

maya said...

Anon--I hope you see this... Thank you for your kindness. I LOVE Subway!! (Thursdays are Subway days around here.) I will happily take your virtual Subway! Thank you!

maya said...

What a surprise to see you here, Revanche! Yes, it's "a LOT a lot." Strength and solidarity to you too <3

maya said...

Thanks, Jenny, I did get some :)!

NGS said...

I think you and I have to have a meeting about your sleep hygiene! You need more consistent sleep!!!

maya said...

Engie--I actually just decided that I can't go on like this. I'm going to work on it next week after my big party is done! Self-Intervention!

right to party

I spent weeks prepping, and everything went really well (I think!)!!  There was a photo booth, a henna artist, a craft table, a cards table ...