Thank you to everyone who sent good wishes to my missing students in Gaza. I hope it's just that they're goofing off. Also, can you imagine signing up for something like "Literature Survey 2: Romanticism to Post-Modernism," while being bombed and displaced? (I can't.)
I've been thinking about them all day and then those thoughts get mixed up with how much I love my human kids and my canine kids (I don't think I'll ever recover from losing Scout). And then about how when the kids were younger they'd get jealous because they could tell I loved my students. It's no secret that students matter a great deal to me and for the time they are in my care, I love them dearly and consider it an honor when I get to continue to be in their lives as a mentor and get to see their new jobs, and weddings and kids and reinventions. Someday, I'll be like Mr. Chips, my kids just lists of all the young people who have meant so much to me.
(And lately, as I get older, I feel waves of affection for young people in general. Babies and toddlers and little kids and tweens and teens obviously. But also random young people. Like the other day, I passed these two young women with their bags of Trader Joe's groceries and two-buck Chucks under their arms and just... I don't know... could see the evening they'd planned for themselves and was just overcome and hoped they'd have the best time.)
This is why I can't understand how we're going about our lives while children are being killed in the most gruesome ways. When there is so much visual evidence of it happening every day.
Apparently, there's a video on the news now showing children being burned alive in a hospital. Children. Being burned. While alive. In a hospital. Every detail is a new level of hell.
A whole year ago, I was horrified and the horrors have just kept multiplying and spreading. At the time, I quoted James Baldwin, "The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this is incapable of morality." And I love the strength and conviction of Baldwin's statement and simultaneously feel so helpless about getting my government (that could end this horror with a single phone call) to acknowledge it. I feel like a character from The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas protecting sanity and the status quo.
(In the meantime, I better go to bed, so I can do ok for my students who can show up. One of them wrote last week, "This class is my all-time favorite class if I could take this class over and over again I would. Everyday is a favorite moment." [unedited] I mean it sounds a bit Groundhog Day, but little did they know when they wrote that, that it would give me a reason to show up this week.)
16 comments:
I love the way you care for your students.
You have such a big heart, my friend. xo
No wonder your students love your class. I'm sure your passion comes through in every lesson.
Seeing cruelty to children and animals is almost unbearable. The video you mentioned is appalling. What in the world is happening?
It is so overwhelming and difficult to be an empath. My youngest son Sam is one, too, and he is often so exhausted that it is painful. He comes here for lunch every day, but yesterday he went home to try to sleep instead.
I'm glad you have caring students, a supportive family, sweet dogs, good friends, and a love of Nature to help you when you need them.
YOU are doing Good Things every day to help balance out the bad. Keep on doing that.
I used to worry about my students getting themselves into dangerous situations with drugs and alcohol, or not taking care of themselves (eating well, sleeping enough, exercising). I would occasionally give motherly advice to the class as a whole, especially at stressful times like midterms or finals. I never worried about them being bombed. That's a whole different level of danger.
I talked with a student today who has not been to three of her classes once this semester. She said "I wasn't worried about these classes until you called me" and I said "I'm worried about you, not these classes. What's going on in your life?" and then it turned into a THING. I think the kids are going to be all right, but I don't know if they are right now.
<3
Thanks for your support and patience, friend xoxox
It seems pretty unreal, Jenny. But all the more serious because it is very real.
Nance, I hope Sam feels better. And I am so touched that you connected what I was feeling to someone you love so dearly. Although it may not seem like it on some days, your mantra of doing good in the ways we can is one I find very comforting and encouraging. <3
Steph--I remember you going back to the classroom after Noah and seeing students as someone's baby :). Yes, it's impossible not to care. <3
Engie--You're probably right, they're not alright. Especially if they're paying attention to other things--wealth gaps, genocide, family troubles, the climate crisis, whatever it is... And the thing is... it is the right response, isn't it? No one *should* be ok with those things!
Take care
Oh goodness, yes, I would be so stressed out too. I feel so helpless about so many situations, and when children are harmed and killed, it is beyond comprehension how nothing is done to stop it. I hope you're feeling better, and that your students are OK.
<3
Thanks, J. I'm feeling more hopeful today, and the U.S. ultimatum to cut military aid to Israel is a step in the right direction.
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