It has been a year. Some days it feels like yesterday, some days it feels like a distant dream of love.
There have been tears every day, every day I've journaled has been tagged "ScoutDay." But I'm not racked by sobs as much as I was in the beginning, I don't wail and keen out loud in a way that terrifies the people I'm with. I'm more "civilized" in my grief. And in some odd way, I feel more love.
Scout was a very special love. Something I haven't mentioned here before is how he was a champion for people. The only times Scout barked at people was if they were being too loud. Big A and Nu tend to yell when they get upset, and Scout would have none of it. As Big A said, when Scout barked at you, it was a reminder to tone things down.
I love you, my darling, my beautiful baby. I wouldn't change anything about our life together except wish it had been longer.
5 comments:
My sympathies for your profound loss. Scout was obviously a valued family member, deeply loved and appreciated. It was good that he had a rich life in a family who understood him and loved him for who he was.
He was well loved.
True, Gillian.
Nance--Thank you. Your words have helped in this difficult year.
StephLove--Thank you. That is the only consolation.
Beatrix's 1-year was rough, too. Sending love to you.
(Ben met a dog at work yesterday that made him have dig feelings for the first time, but I still can't imagine a dog who is not her-- pets, man. **shakes head**)
I thought of you this week, Sarah. We're linked in this sad life event for always. (And I think our loss kind of scared/scarred Engie a bit too.)
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