Wednesday, February 21, 2024

bleak week

I'm having a tough time this week. It's not that I can't go on... I am. But I keep feeling like I can't... On the surface, things look normal, but it feels like my sense of reality is being eroded--like the sandy shore slipping from under my feet in a dream yesterday. 

What's it all for if I can see the horror every day and am absolutely incapable of saving a single child? The amputations and caesareans without anesthesia, the firing at U.N. food distribution camps, the six-year-old calling emergency services trapped in a car full of her dead family... This is truly the stuff of horror.  And yet.... yet again... The U.S. has vetoed a ceasefire in Gaza for the third time. A ceasefire! 

BOL's cat who saw them through undergrad and grad school died and I want to be there to support them the way they supported me when Scout was dying... But also, it brought me back to that month of slowly losing Scout... the dread of every day. I'm surprised that it will be a whole year without my darling in just about two months.

Pic: E.D. Wilson's poem "My Phone is Full of Cute Cats and Dead Children."

7 comments:

Nicole said...

Oof, that poem. It says it all.
xoxoxo

Nance said...

I saw that vote and the USA's competing resolution. I'm confused and frustrated. Trying to understand; aware of the delicate state of hostage negotiations, but at the same time wondering what exactly the point of being the sole sticking vote is.

It's such a horror, all of it. A bloodbath.

NGS said...

War is never good for anyone, particularly the most vulnerable. Hugs to you.

Mom of Children said...

I have nothing to say except that I feel helpless. Hugs to you.

StephLove said...

It's heartbreaking. Ukraine, too.

maya said...

Thank you for your empathy and care... and hugs, dear people. Gratitude and love your way <3

Gillian said...

Sad.

last day/first day

And that's a wrap on classes until August. There are exams and meetings next week and task forces that will meet through the summer and ...