I've been getting so much joy in these past few months taking things to the Fretail Store and getting people things from their online wish lists. Especially from our Buy-Nothing group, which has become mostly requests from people who are going through hard times and need help getting presents for their kids. A family or two a day gets looped into grocery store expenditure and doesn't hurt us. Especially as our own kids are too grown, too cool, and too socially aware for most stuff. And especially since I'm very much of the but-for-the-grace-of-God/the-universe school of thought.
"I'll get some books and toys for their tree," I chirpily offered online this morning. And then today's family turned out to have 11 kids. But you can't just buy for some kids in the family, so I had to be creative with multipacks of toys and books and games that could be shared. The choices I make are sometimes sad and informed by my CASA training: no food-themed toys, for instance, as food insecurity might be present (Have you ever seen a food-themed object and craved that food? Now imagine you are a kid with no money); no toys requiring adult supervision as single parents are probably already overstretched and overworked; nothing about looking for bio families--so no Are You My Mother-type books.
Life should be more fair for children. A new mom I know says she'll never tell her kids about Santa since she doesn't want to perpetuate her childhood anguish at seeing Santa bring the rich kids expensive gifts and dollar-store baubles to the poor ones.
Pic: Unopened gifts culled from my kids' rooms headed for the Fretail Store. To be fair, the kids didn't ask for any of these, but I'd pored over catalogues and best-of lists and really thought they'd like them.
7 comments:
It's wonderful how much thought you are putting into your giving.
Good for you.
You are such a big hearted and loving person, Maya. It is one of the many things I love about you. I never really thought about Santa in that way when I was a child - it was when I was older it occurred to me. I grew up in a pretty working-class (I know that's not the right word but I can't think of another as descriptive) neighbourhood and everyone was in the same kind of economic strata. So it never occurred to me that Santa would be inequitable because we all were kind of on the same level. When I got older, I realized that this was NOT the same experience for everyone. It's a very sad thing that life is so unfair, especially to children.
That said, 11 children, whoa, can you imagine? On so many levels can you imagine?
What a lovely way to celebrate the abundance in your life by sharing with others. You're a lovely soul, Maya.
So many people don't think about these things, maya, and I'm glad that you do. Life *should* be far more fair for children. That sentence is one of the major reasons I am atheist.
I can feel your lightheartedness in this post. You are finding your Joy every day.
I love everything about this. When my kids were little, I decided that Santa would fill stockings and that the rest of the gifts would be from us. Originally it was because I wanted the credit, but it had the added benefit of leveling the field too.
Thank you, StephLove, Gillian, NGS. I truly believe it is a blessing to be able to give. There have been times when it didn't seem possible.
Nicole--I love that additional piece of background. And yes--I too was thinking about the 11 children... and no, I can't say I can really imagine it.
Nance--OMG, same... I think reflecting on privilege and inequity is how I arrived at atheism too.
Chiconky--I was smiling as I read your comment, because I really wanted to get the credit for the things I got my kids too... I thought it was because I was a fresh immigrant!
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