Thursday, October 19, 2023

Fall into bed (or not)

In truth, I'm having a tough time of it--unable to sleep, plagued by unspecific anxiety, my brain overflowing with sad details. I was just congratulating myself for holding it together... Look at me: making breakfasts and dinners, prepping lectures and discussions, doing house projects, attending every work meeting, making plans with friends, researching the next book chapter, keeping my million plants alive!

And then one day the thousand-yard stare of a shell-shocked child won't leave my head and I have to excuse myself from the classroom to compose myself. But isn't it great how much lighter it feels after a good cry? 

Pic: A couple of weeks ago when it finally started getting cooler, I changed us to Fall bedclothes and now the bedroom looks so golden and cozy. I wish I could log more sleep hours than I am currently though!

7 comments:

StephLove said...

That's a beautiful bedroom. I hope you get more peaceful slumber in it soon.

Nicole said...

Sometimes a cry is what you need. You are absolutely holding it together well, but it's okay to fall apart too. Sometimes this horror is more than our hearts can bear.
Your bedroom does look cozy, I wish you could sleep and sleep and get restored a bit this weekend. That's my wish for you. xo

Gillian said...

Very nice.

NGS said...

A cathartic cry is exactly what was due. And then we get back to it and continue fighting!

maya said...

Steph--I felt your gentleness in this, thank you.
Nicole--What a kind wish, thank you, friend.
Gillian-- Thank you!
NGS-- I whooped when I read your comment! YES!!

Chiconky said...

Your bed is beautiful and looks like a sanctuary. If I was asked for advice (which I wasn't so I apologize in advance) it would be: Be gentle with yourself, and intentional with your consumption. You don't have to bear witness to everything to hold sacred what is happening. I hope you get some peace and rest soon

maya said...

Chiconky, thank you for this incredibly sage and freeing piece of advice. Bearing witness is exactly how I think of it, so it immediately hit home for me. I have really taken a "personal pause" to celebrate A's birthday, and it has been good.

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