Monday, April 03, 2023

"yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away"

(Sounds weird to say it, but...) I had a great day yesterday. 

On Friday, the E.R. doc had said that it was merely a matter of "hours or days" for Scout, so getting home a day and a half later and seeing him wag his tail in greeting and get on his feet for pets from me was terrific in itself.

And then I got to have all my kids at breakfast (two at the counter, the other two on the floor) wanting attention, sharing news, being themselves. Really... it's what I've missed every day since At went away to college. I spent the rest of the morning talking/reading --At's head in my lap; Nu (who's way less touchy-feely) on the sofa next to me, letting me squeeze their shoulder now and then; Scout and Huckie snuggled up on my other side. Then I made lunch for everyone. Then people went off to do their own thing for a while. Then I made dinner for everyone. Then we watched a show and played word games. It was like an ordinary and perfect Sunday.

And maybe I'm only seeing what I want to see, but while Scout does look unwell, he doesn't look like he's at death's door. For hours at a time, I could almost forget that the options we'd been given for Scout were surgery (with a failure rate of 7/10) and "humane euthanasia." 

Today we took Scout to another hospital for a second opinion, because surely those can't be the only options? But no--those are the only options. He's hospitalized for the day so they can do a detailed ultrasound to determine if surgery is even viable, and then we get to have that discussion about whether to put him through surgery all over again. 

I'm not having a great day today. Going this whole day without Scout when our days together are so numbered seems especially stupid. 

Pic: Scout (and Huckie) following me around yesterday.


StephLove said...

This hits so close to home, Maya. It's been almost six months since Xander died and I miss him every day. Sending love to you and yours.

NGS said...

Oh, what a mixed bag. I'm glad you were able to have the support of your human children, but I hope Scout is doing as well as possible. Fingers crossed you get more quality time with him than predicted.

maya said...

Thank you, StephLove. I have been thinking of you a lot lately... I feel we're both mourning the loss of a whole stage of life. Sending love to you and yours as well.

Thank you, NGS. I know you love dogs and this must be difficult for you to read here and on Sarah's.

Nicole said...

Oh, Maya. You know I am here for you. I am glad you had such a good Sunday, and I know the end is such a difficult place to be. Sweet, sweet Scout. If you need a person to talk to, you know where I am. xoxoxo

Gillian said...

Best wishes for Scout.

maya said...

Thank you, Nicole and Gillian ♥️.

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