Thursday, November 03, 2022

an all too soon song

soon your own wholeness
enters the broken day
soon enough wishes swirl out
without boundaries

soon the longing for something
you can't yet recall
all too soon the frantic journeys
of the world

you will ask if at anytime soon
we untangle life 
Yes, friend, yes! Soon, soon, soon
... just as soon as... 

Pic: Baker Woods with L. Most trees are bare. 


StephLove said...

Can I make a suggestion?

maya said...

Omigosh! Yes! Please, Steph!

StephLove said...

I think the whole first stanza would be more powerful without the word "generic" in the first line. It makes "wholeness" more whole when it's unmodified and a better contrast with "broken" in the next line.

maya said...

Thank you for the edit, Steph. I can see that... off to try it.


A cold day, but beautiful.  Walks with some of my favorite people: L, Big A,  me... Pic: An icy Red Cedar River