memento amoris

A snake yesterday; zombies today. Only on film, thankfully. We picked At up from work and got a leisurely dinner and ice cream before seeing 28 Years Later, a franchise At and I are particularly fond of. It was unexpectedly tender for a zombie film. While the memento mori parts were predictable, the instruction--"memento amoris"--was not and it really resonated. Everyone will inevitably die, but will we have loved as much as we could?

While on love, here's an amazing poem I found this week. It's by John Roedel: on the days/when it feels like/I have no power/I serve others/you see/whenever I wash the world's feet/my hands/immediately/stop shaking. Wow. This is kind of true for me too.

And in the love department, we watched the Rick Steves tour of Esfahan ("extraordinary mosques and endearing people") because it's unlikely that we'll ever be able to see it for ourselves now. My love for that one particular shade of Isfahan blue comes from a picture in a book I had when I was eight or nine. 

And since the beginning of this year, EM and I and then Nu and I have been talking about Mississippi Masala--that movie from 30+ years ago with Denzel Washington and Sarita Choudhary, which won awards and hearts for depicting a love affair between an Indian woman and a black man. So that's one of the many, many reasons we're so happy that Zohran Mamdani has won the primary as NYC mayoral candidate--that movie was made by his mom, Mira Nair. 

Pic: At, Big A, and Nu in the parking lot. I love them a lot.

our tiny hero

Big A had been at work last night and I woke up this morning to him shouting about something. 

He was shouting about a snake. A snake in the puppies' room. 

He'd been refilling their water, but Huck seemed uncharacteristically uninterested in greeting him and then he saw that Huck's attention was on a tiny snake that had probably made its way into the house via the doggie door. 

I helped by holding Max, and spotting the snake as it glided under and out of furniture (all the stuff you can see here)  so Big A could catch and release it. But it was fearless Huck who really helped chase it out the backdoor.

I wonder... what would have happened if Big A hadn't been refilling the water bowls at that precise moment. Would the snake just be roaming the entire house? Do we already have other snakes who just live here?

Also... I don't know if this is the same Mx. Slithers I saw last year. But yesterday, I did drop a lot of clove powder in the garden where I saw them last year to drive them away. I wonder... if that smell drove them indoors. So is this, too, my fault after all?

I was pretty shaken and after Big A went for a post-call nap. I had to emergency snuggle with Nu who was in bed and very sleepy and unsympathetic. ("Gawd, Mama--I bet it was just a little snake. If you want a garden there's gonna be snakes." Unsympathetic, but sensible?)

So grateful for Huck's calm and valiant work today. Our 12-year-old who, as our vet says, looks like a "perma-puppy" and acts like a kitty and is 100% hero.

Pic: Huck getting love in a friend's lap last week. 

the hits keep coming

I worked in the garden for six hours straight, with Max and Huck for company now and again, because I could not bear to be around the radio or my computer. I planted, replanted, cleaned the pond, fixed some fencing, and weeded a ton. They say we had a heat wave today. I guess? It was very hot and I was a sweaty mess by the time I decided to head back in. (I barely sweat usually, so this is kind of a big deal.) 

Also, I noticed flat white spots on my legs last week. I think I have IGH (Idiopathic Guttate Hypomelanosis). (Self-diagnosis via Google, and Big A concurs.) I thought it was age-related--like liver spots only in reverse, but no--it's because I'm such a sun-seeker. Also, as a proper Indian person, my first thought was leprosy, and it reminded me of the summer all the adults in the family tested me for leprosy with a safety pin.  

In serious health news, MIL had a mini stroke and has a cardioversion scheduled for next week. She would like me to enjoy my visit with my mom, but I wish I could go / feel like I should go be with her. In any case, this reminder of how quickly people's health can undergo a shift is unwelcome.

And world news continues to be awful. Children are eating dirt in Gaza while trucks with food to feed a million people are blockaded a few miles away. Plus we seem to be drifting into a war. I'm sorry for all the people in the bombed cities in Iran, but I was particularly devastated to hear Isfahan was one of them. I always longed to visit that ancient city known as "half the world." Also, I didn't think I'd be grateful for discrimination, but at least the military won't want my trans kids.

Pic: Yesterday I stopped by my office to pick up some books and water my plants and saw the college spirit rock had new colors. I wonder if it's the work of new Indian students or new Irish students. I've always loved how the mutual flag colors represent the alliances between the Irish and Indian independence movements. 

escape from injustice and war

Pic: Nu's photo of Max and me. I want to do only escapist things like read and snuggle and gaze into puppies' eyes forever and ever.

Happy SolsticeWeekend! 

Happy Free Mahmoud Khalil Day! 

I don't want to think about the Supreme Court's decision to ban gender affirming care to minors. I don't want to think about how the U.S. has bombed Iran... and if that means we're in another war now.

There are many poems about war. Here's Mahmoud Darwish's:

The war will end

The leaders will shake hands

The old woman will keep waiting for her martyred son

The girl will wait for her beloved husband

And those children will wait for their hero father

I don’t know who sold our homeland

But I saw who paid the price

It's quite cis-het normative, isn't it? I didn't remember that about the poem... 

Five for Friday (Cheer)

1) Blog friends: Jenny listed five cheerful things to buoy herself up after a bad week and I could feel myself slipping into a funk (as my dad would say), so I decided to follow her example. 

Something beautiful that has given me great joy lately is Nance's piece titled "Night Rides."  I've gone back and reread it many times since she first published it. It's got that magical childhood nostalgia and evocative writing--transportive... transformative. 

Also, Lisa kindly introduced me to Jeanie who blogs from my city. Jeanie has a brilliant smile and the kind of warm and intriguing personality that made me want to make up all the time I'd missed spending with her.  So I invited her to a gathering at my place a few weeks ago. As I was about to introduce her to L, L exclaimed, "I know that smile!" Turns out Jeanie is famous! SO many people at that party knew Jeanie from her work on public television. I didn't know I'd befriended a celebrity!

2) Summer break: Not only is it break time. I've achieved peak break-time brain. I had to stop and figure out what day of the week it was. Perfect!

3) Family: Big A has a new nickname at work; the nurses are calling him Dr. Zamboni. Apparently, the E.R. is usually full when he gets in to work, but they love how good he is at getting people care/referrals/tests/discharges, so they're relieved when he's on the schedule because he clears things up. Sounds like a superhero to me.

4) New students: Nu signed up for classes this week, so it reminded me that students are signing up and I peeked at my new student rosters.  And there are so many new-to-me students! Yay! (And also one student whom I've known since they were a toddler. We're going to their grad party tomorrow, actually. This goes against my self-imposed rule of no family or friends in my class. I'll work on dissuading them later this summer.)

5) Pic: From last October's trip to Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. If you asked me, I would say I like water views and green, lush landscapes... but I constantly find myself thinking about these majestic, arid, red formations. Their dimensions make me feel so small and their endurance makes me feel so hopeful. I think I'm besotted with them. I went back and looked through old pictures. 

summer sadness

all my grandparents are dead

 all of them now live with me

and  I am as tired as they are

calibrating so many endings

sadness settles--a misreading

a waiting whimpers in veins

possibilities turn impossible 

like feelings I try not to feel 

 I've told myself: I've no right

things are good, it's summer

even skies are on my side &

sunshine is...  the  purest kiss

 but I go full sol  to soulful 

to the solstice of  solipsism 

I  know  I... cannot fly, yet

mindlessly look for wings

_________________

Pic: Out with Max and Huck early in the morning. The dogwood friends gave me for my birthday is in full bloom this week. L said she'd picked out a Kousa, because it is a late bloomer like me. She really gets me :).

second-best

My sister's two-week trip to visit me might feel more like a one-week trip because she'll visit two very dear friends as well. Those trips are as short as they can possibly be--three days each, one day to travel each way and one day there.

To be able to write that down calmly without bursting into tears has taken me all of a week. It felt so petty to begrudge the other visits, but I imagined two whole weeks to ourselves with lots of downtime. Now it'll be a slightly busier schedule, but still so good.

Anyway, trivia today--just me, Big A, AH, and SD. We got second place after leading until the final wager round.

Pic: A shelter in progress? Along the banks of the Red Cedar.