reaching the threshold

it was always difficult for children

dangerous even 

if you know of a place where it isn't

please share it 

we may sway in decision, hover in hope,

curve like prayer,

ache to follow rumors as if they're friends

inviting us to hurry

but we won't know how--or if--we let go

of mourning

our feet full of splinters, tracing love over

fragments of safety

_____

It's the fourth of July. We didn't have plans because we were supposed to be in YS. Also: things don't feel very celebratory anyway--it feels very What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?  This lines up with the memes that say: "Fourth of July has been canceled due to a shortage of independence" or "Frankly I don't think America deserves a birthday party this year." And then the news worsens with reports of mass shootings in Highland Park and Philadelphia and fires in Fort Worth...

what could be

One more day at the reunion, and then we left for home a whole day early as Nu is (and hence we all are) in the midst of an unrelated crisis.

We managed to fit a lot into the 24 hours we were in YS, though. Peaches yesterday for reunion drinks, Glen Garden for flowers for Big A's mom with whom we were staying, Toy Company and Dark Star to keep Nu occupied, planned hangouts like the one pictured, and of course all the random running into old friends and neighbors. 

It's difficult not to feel a bit of nostalgia for the YS years and wonder...Will we ever move back there again? What might our lives have been like if we'd stayed?  

mellow

In Yellow Springs, OH for Big A's high school reunion. I casually thought it was the 20th... but no it's the 30th!

Since we lived in YS (2008-2012), some are my friends too. But as the outsider, I was surprised by how much people remembered from 30 years ago. Everyone remembers Big A's infamous exploits (he'd have gotten juvie for his Ex-Lax cookies for sure these days!). But people were also saying to each other how kind people had been, how someone was the big sibling they didn't have at home, how they'd been made welcome although they were new in town. 

It was definitely a taste of the old YS--all the once high-schoolers in this picture from progressive, hippie, biracial, LGBTQ families or living near families who were--growing up in an environment like that must have been so formative for them. What it must have been like to take all of that for granted... 30 years ago. The person who went into the army right after high school said how he was asked if "gays should be in the military" and that he'd responded "gay people have always been in the military, maybe you didn't know it." These people must have pushed change in the world outside of their bubble.

Also: we've been having a bit of a tough time at home because of some teen behaviors/choices/consequences--this was a good reminder that high school isn't forever, and hopefully, we will just remember the mellow highlights in a few years.

Scout = Love

Surely no one deserves this much adoration... but it feels like Scout is giving me credit for being such a grown up today: getting Nu to multiple doc appts., taking multiple meetings, being supportive to Big A as he moves into his new office in WI, and rescuing all the plants in my office. 

Or maybe Scout's commiserating because I almost got my Bluey back. Bluey got busted when I hit that poor deer back in February, and has been in the bodyshop for a month (parts shortage, delay, etc.). They called to say Bluey was ready, but when Nu and I drove off down the street, all sorts of warning lights began to flicker--so we went back for a recheck. 

In any case, I needed an extra dose of love today, and Scout was right there for me.

normal...

Nu is completing all the school assignments he missed when he was sick, and JG very kindly consented to be interviewed for the "life in the 1980's" segment. 

We'd had a gnarly start to the day where I suspected I'd have to take Nu to the E.R.; so I was particularly glad with how fun and normal the rest of the day actually turned out--first a long visit from JG and then winding down with the new season of Umbrella Academy after dinner.

Plus I updated details of vacation week as #LaterPosts!

All four present

I started the day with all my monkeys in a row at breakfast. 

A sunny moment in a day filled with other less fun duties. 

We're Back!

Relaxed, grateful, dusty, tired, frizzy, checked out, appreciative, super-tan, and worldly. Feeling all those things on this first night back from our week in Spain. 

It was exactly half the family (Nu, Big A, me) on the trip, while At stayed home with Scout and Huck. We (OBVIOUSLY!) invited At too, but he was kind of busy with organizing. We joked that At is afraid of being seen as the Bougie (not Boogey) Man. 

Feels so good to have Scout and Huckie curled on my feet, Big A on the other sofa, and the human kids in their beds upstairs...

Tomorrow I will work on Nu's educational, health, and therapy care, drop At back to his apartment, get ready for Big A to start his new job in WI come July, and catch up with ALL the work stuff I put aside for a week. 

But... right now feels... so good. 

(I'll update the past week from my travel journal as #LaterPosts when I get a chance.)