a physic of sisterhood

the swift traffic of anger and rage

the slow wheels of despair

hope breaking like time 

in a song

my childhood watches carefully 

as  your  cruelties turn into 

a street that forgot where

it was going

how you are writing your story 

for a small woman although

I know no small women--

am more than one

_________

Pic: Full moon last week (when I started this poem).

news from far and near

Horrified to hear Megyn "R. Kelly," as some wag on the internet framed her, try to vindicate Jeffrey Epst*in using semantics. Of course, a 15-year-old is a child.

Saddened to hear of Alice Wong's passing. She zoomed with our students twice in the years after Disability Visibility came out and it was transformational for everyone. She was such a champion for Gaza too. Getting E-sim cards out to people so they could communicate was one of her big causes lately.

Defeated to hear that despite the so-called ceasefire, bombs and gunfire have killed and injured nearly a thousand people in Gaza and that rains have swept away whole tent cities leaving families with no shelter. The Israeli government has not allowed replacement aid in yet.

I continue to be mopey (and also mentally kicking myself for not lying out in the sun even once in PR when I had the chance, WTH?). But I reviewed the copy-edited manuscript and sent it off to the editor after sitting on it for over a month. I kept finding something to tweak every time I opened it; I decided I just have to let go. So off it went! I liked writing the acknowledgements and of course I dedicated it to Amma.

And I'm glad to be home.

Pic: Walk with Lynn to The Healing Gardens. Those koi have gotten so big!

I'm sure Puerto Rico is more beautiful

...but all I've seen of it is the convention center where the conference is and the view of the bay (and the convention center) from my hotel window.

NWSA is usually my happy place, where I'm wildly social--partying every night, making appointments to meet different groups for every meal--but I had absolutely no energy this year. I could fake short spurts and then I'd go veg at a talk or by myself in my room. 

I got elected Caucus chair last evening and then texted Big A that I was having the worst time ever and went to sleep. Apparently he texted me near midnight and then a couple of times after that. Then he proceeded to get worried when I didn't respond and called me around 3 am... I know I have a reputation for bad sleep habits, but surely I'm allowed to deviate once in a while?

Can't wait to head home today.

Pic: Sunrise from my hotel room window.

cap-ability

Despite how melancholy I've been at NWSA this year, I managed to take our annual "Madras Madcap" photos with dear SR. 

  

We were just acquaintances when we started, but we're super close now.

(Her mother had been ailing for years and we both lost our mothers within weeks of each other--I didn't expect us to twin in this.)

Here we are through the years!

what I'm actually here for

Haven't ventured outside of the hotel+convention center yet...

But I managed to deliver my paper "Tell Me Where It Hurts: Dis-ease, (Dis)Embodiment, and the Body Politic in Jhumpa Lahiri's Roman Stories" well to a packed room (and got an offer to have it anthologized after Q&A) so that part was good.

Pic: Nevermind what's going on with my hair.
 

here, I guess

This is the only travel I'd anticipated and planned for this semester--my annual trip to the NWSA. All the other trips happened because of tragedy or unexpected success. Anyway.

Big A was working last night, and my direct flight to Puerto Rico from Detroit took off early, so I walked to the airport shuttle (Lansing to Detroit) at 4 am with my luggage (just a backpack, no worries).

Pic: "Home" for the next three nights... I guess that Paris hotel room spoiled me, because I texted "where is the hammock?" to the family chat.

kindness continues

as do I

perhaps that how I continue.

When I checked in with my sister, we realized that both of us have been struggling with physical manifestations of our grief...

She has migraines

I have nausea every day

Pic: I opened my office door to another kind card today.