here we are

I checked out of the last set of work meetings early so I could spend some extra time before dinner with Nu on their last evening home before college. 

Dinner was grilled cheese (by request), friends dropped off brownie treats (LB) and chocolate (BL) for Nu to take to college, Nu's friends had helped them pack while I was at work, and Nu had done all their laundry and finished up by stacking all the college stuff in the rumpus room.

I got an extra long and tender kiss-hug goodnight. I may have clung on for an extra moment or two. Nu is still my baby. They're still just 17. But it's off to college tomorrow. I'm so excited for them!

Pic: Max inspects Nu's stacks of dorm stuff while a blurry, harried Nu explains. Max doesn't know what's coming and is going to miss Nu SO much! Huck has weathered At going off to college and may remember how that works. Scout was so mad at the world when At left... He'd sort of storm off through the doggie door and sit outside glaring up at the house. It was hilarious and sad.

Mixed, Mad, Mellow

Mixed: Back on campus for a full day of Fall conference today. It's delightful to see everyone after a summer of being away. And every year I find myself missing people who aren't here. Some of them are happily retired, some resigned unhappily, some moved on to other places, + a significant number of jobs were cut last December. There were a few absences today that were unexpected and I don't know if they're gone, are quiet-quitting, or just playing hooky. 

Mad: I'm upset that the funds I wired via Western Union in a hurry to help with my mom's medical bills last week were put on a hold. They didn't bother to tell me until I called them and then asked me a bunch of annoying questions to "protect me from scammers." You know what seems like a scam to me? Quietly sitting on my money for over a week when you promised it would be transferred in 15 minutes. I chose Western Union over a bank transfer precisely because it's supposed to be available in a matter minutes rather than days, but here we are ten days later. Ugh.

Pic: Mellow: An ice cream treat with Huck and Max. I get the chocolate part; they get the vanilla.

some media prompts and thoughts

Nu showed me this one: Google search "let's with mama" and click on the images tab. You'll get a bunch of cute pictures of animal mamas and babies doing cute, cuddly things together. Toddler Nu used to love "Mama and Baby" toys and pictures and I'm tickled to see that fondness made it to adulthood. 

We saw Weapons last week, and I've decided that I DO NOT LIKE it. There is a thread of ableism and ageism there I resent. IYKYK.

I am sad that And Just like That is going away. It wasn't a particularly good show, although it wasn't as terrible as this review makes it out to be, and I was mostly watching it out of nostalgia. And--after years of calling it "And so it Goes" and "That's What She Said"--I had just learned to say the name of the show right too. 

Saved the best for last. This spoken word piece by Sam Browne called "Guts" uses "dead babies" as anaphora and is heartbreaking, real, and amazing.

Pic: The koi pond at Radiology Gardens. Walk with L. 

a season of goodbye

We drop Nu off at college on Wednesday--that's coming up fast! I'm fueled by excitement for Nu and an ever-expanding to-do list before drop-off and the approach of back-to-school duties of my own. I know I'll get to Wednesday just fine... but I wonder how it'll feel coming back home after drop off.

Sometimes I'm curious about how it might feel not to be a full-time parent after 26 years of being one. Max and Huck are much easier than Nu--perhaps it'll feel... liberating?At other times I'm deeply aware of what an immense shift this is and know that things will never ever be the same again. Even though there will probably be plenty of visits and summers spent at home...

Pic: Lots of dinners this week so Nu can say goodbye to people. I forget what the joke was here (it doesn't look like poor Max was in on it either :)!) Pic by E.M.

going back where I came from

I could  lose  myself 

in much lonelier ways 

wandering on between 

no and now and nowhere

but then you tell me to go 

back where I came from 

I understand your animus

curled tight like my fist  

but I pretend confusion

& enact comic indecision:

all the way back to heaven
or just up my mom's vagina?

________________________________

Pic: Baker Woods looking magnificent. Walk with L.

Felony? Sounds like baloney

Yesterday, dear Subway Steph who lives in D.C. tipped me off that a man standing outside a Subway restaurant in D.C. was "charged with assaulting a federal agent with a sandwich."

This is so ridiculous. Are they going to pretend that a federal agent wearing a tactical vest was in danger from a sandwich? 

Isn't it extra ridiculous that they're making more noise about this than the murders of Minnesota senator Hortman and her husband who were assassinated in their home in June?

My mind kept coming up with more ridiculous responses all day:

Assault with a sandwich? Bite me.

Buddy, you're... toast.

Did you want a donut instead?

Is it a felony because it was a footlong? Would it have been a misdemeanor if it was a six-inch?

Pic: In my "Writing About Social Issues in Unprecedented Times" class earlier this evening. I'm better at photographs when I'm not the one taking them!

a song to follow

I  know it can't  be summer forever

these anonymous days will end soon 

and though today I talk of happiness

tomorrow we will plan a resistance 

with 

voices 

eyes 

hands

the breeze 

lifting 

us like joy 

(or dismay)

the world is so loud with trouble 

and yet we feel almost immortal 

spreading like rumors, we wade in

knowing there's still time to be taken 

________________________________

Pic: It's almost as if it will stay summer forever... I'm so grateful for sunshiny light, for things growing madly, and for bird visitors. And yet, the news out in the world continues to be so dire...