daydrinking / celebrating

We rarely drink anymore, so the sun and a second cocktail are all it takes to feel like a circus.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Pic: Sitting around in wet swimmies with drinks on the patio.

Jamaica (Day #3 LaterPost)

basic beach

I can't believe I'm actually on the beach! I love the vacation sunglasses I got online; I plan to wear them everywhere...

Pic: On the beach right after breakfast.

Jamaica (Day #2 LaterPost)

 

and off we go!

We had to leave at 4:15 am to make our flight...

We're masking less and less these days, but airplanes and elevators still make me anxious. Even if it's not Covid, I don't want your cooties, thank you very much. 

Pic: On the plane to Montego Bay 

Jamaica (Day #1 LaterPost)

so long

A day of goodbyes: an early morning stroll with L who is "on call" while At is in charge of the younger sibs, visits with my CASA kids, drinks with girlfriends this evening, extended hugs and detailed notes for the kids, wondering what Max will make of my absence...

Still unresolved: some packing dilemmas and general anxiety. I just gave myself a stern talking-to about how incongruous it is to be panicking about vacation. 

Pic: Waterlilies waking up; at MSU Radiology Gardens with L.

(as if) I am

I am not afraid of what I wished for 

I am a rock, I can grow old--

though tides pass over me like words 

for feelings I don't know

I sit still as breath in a shell, wonder

which side of sleep I am on

I open my arms to show you how big
but the ocean is already gone

Note: I guess I'm already daydreaming about sitting oceanside, although that's not till the end of the week. I'm so excited...

Pic: Max and Huck post groomer's. Max has such heart-emoji eyes for their big sib. Huck has somehow already lost their bandana.

bird by bird (or sheep by sheep)

Ok, it's past 3:00 am and I really should go to be in bed, but: 

• Huck and Max are cuddling on my feet,
• I've been working on the online course assignments that came with my service enlistment after a kind and encouraging reminder from the course facilitator, 
• Big A is at work and texting me and I kind of really like chatting with him;
• I need to check in on my sister who's fractured her hand and she is in a timezone that's 10 hours ahead, 
• I have to finish writing this,
• I want to read some more before I fall asleep. I'm currently reading the final installment of Hilary Mantel's Cromwell trilogy and love old Thomas more than any self-respecting socialist should.
• etc. I have a lot more B.S. excuses for my sleep procrastination.

Next week, after I come back from vacation, I'm going to make sleep hygiene a priority. But one thing at a time. As the wonderful Anne Lamott says in another context, I should take it "bird by bird."

Pic: I was so delighted I got a warbling goldfinch in this shot! MSU Horticultural Gardens with L. 

mailboxes etc.

Things have shifted into a sweet, summer mode now that Nu's school is on break too. It has been quite the year for Nu, and it has been an education for me to watch as they worked on themselves and worked things out. I'm happy and proud... and reassured by this year. It's not how I would do things, but that's the whole point isn't it? 

This evening, as we were coming back from duct taping the mailbox back to its post (someone seems to have backed into it quite violently), we were laughing over finding a piece of the car that must have done it and styling ourselves as detectives. I cannot imagine either of us responding this way a year ago. I feel such deep gratitude for our journey. 

Pic: Red Cedar rapids this morning; just me, myself, and I.