A Warning

gnawing

annoying

day opens 

its jaws

like danger

it is considered natural here

to be golden in the moment 

then vanish and be replaced

for all you know is bravery

when you have no memory

of the sky

the hawk 

in the sky

where the

others went

Pic and notes: Koi at MSU Radiology Gardens. They're always so tiny because the bigger ones are snatched by hawks (and then replaced by staff). 

hope as the thing that perches

I was on one of my marathon phone calls with my sister (early morning here, evening there) when this brilliant rainbow patch appeared on my leg (from a crystal mobile in the window).

Between its appearance and my Chelli's confidence in me, I'm hopeful for the upcoming week.

today

Today, I needed the woods and a hike with  L.

Then yoga with Big A via Portal, A trip to the dollar store with Nu, a call to Cousin N to arrange next week's family get together, a long soak, leftovers for dinner. 

A take-it-easy kinda day.

(I'll deal with health insurance claims, roof repairs, departmental re-visioning, editing, etc. next week.)

Pic: Baker Woods, MSU

somedays

Somedays

all I need are the roses.

#MSU Horticulture Gardens 

Like there is no time

The Uber has already been called
It's nearly the end of the night

of the first day of a hurried wedding

It's after the cousins have finished 

with their choreographed dances

after the henna has dried on my hands

My aunt, the brides' mother, comes up

to her sisters and sisters-in-law

Let's get on the dance floor

she says, It's our time now

The aunt who is giving me a ride back  

says: but I already called the Uber

the app says it's just five minutes away

Then let's go, let's go, let's go 

the bride's mother says

gesturing to the dance floor

looking like she's already dancing

we have no time to lose

we can't waste a single minute, she says 

but she seems also, so far away

It's the same far away look she has 
at the reception the next day
until the bride and groom 
surprise-announce 

that a baby is coming soon

and everyone is ooh-ing and crying

even more than usual

because--you know--we know

and when I finally get to congratulate 

my uncle and my aunt

My aunt who's made no mention 

of what we all know all weekend long

finally breaks. Gripping my uncle's hand 

in a way both hard and tender, she says--

I just hope he gets to see the baby

she says, as if there is no time

wellness and goodness

Things are a bit overwhelming right now with work (especially with scheduling which requires a spatial and numerical intelligence that doesn't come naturally to me); our ongoing roof repair saga (now we need an engineer and suddenly the city inspector is involved, and none of this is in the budget?!!?); and feeling like recognizing that I'm effectively solo parenting these days (especially when six hours of outpatient care is intense and Nu needs a lot when he gets home).

Luckily for me (and everyone who needs to be in contact with me), R made a house call, set up their magic massage table, and I spent the rest of the day transfused with flexibility, thankfulness, and calm.  

I'm thankful I had the time, some extra cash, and a kind and accommodating professional to help me feel well enough to be a good person today. 

very Monday

We tried out our Portals for the first time today as Big A is back in Milwaukee. I like the big screen and that the camera pans to pick up sound and movement. I wish there was an option to just let it stay on all the time. 

Otherwise, tons of work for me, six hours of outpatient care for Nu; both of us came home feeling depleted. Nu had a good cry, I held it together...but couldn't wait for the parenting day to be over. Then I got lost in a book. And so to bed, hoping for a kinder tomorrow.

 Pic: Scout and Huck could hear Dada's voice but they don't "see" things on screens, so Nu tried to show them up close. 💗