Saturday, June 19, 2021

I said



a letter seems only an island of sound 
till it has found bridges and isthmuses 
of words and meaning

we're at this crossing to talk some more--
soaring through side streets and alleys 
where we are all children

come back, connect, read me generously
correct, on this towpath of peace, release
my complaint--always me

[Pic: cobwebs-bridge-Red Cedar River]


Friday, June 18, 2021

shadow friends



When cousin P and I had a marathon chat last week, she lamented how all the people who were so amazing to us when we came to the U.S. as grad students: the kind, generous, progressive folks--who fed us, acclimated us, radicalized us--seem to have disappeared. 

Not true, I said--thinking of L--I walk with one of them almost everyday. 

[Pic: L and I being silly with our shadows in the Red Cedar on Farm Lane yesterday.]

Thursday, June 17, 2021

starting summer

No working stove yet, but I'm getting quite good at making do with L's electric skillet... I might even be thinking of getting one. Luckily, picnic-style food works great right now.

Finally got the kids' to share their summer fun lists. After weeks of begging 🤨. Maybe that's more of a "me" thing?

Lots of other little traditions are making their way into our lives. At, for instance, will share a reading and then schedule a long walk to talk about it. This happened quite organically, and I LOVE it. Right now he has me reading Shawn Wallace's The Designated Mourner. 

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

complications


Yes... no... I don't know... yet
how to take things for granted
let's say we're sort of Egyptian 
in all the ways we are learning 
to prepare--not for life--but death 

I hold for friends who have left 
homelands... once upon a time
with untold pasts, fear for those   
whose names change every day,
who clasp peace so hard--it splits

[Pic: Ely Woods with L this morning]

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

cenotaph


For you're breathy as a kettle, 
in all of this ennui, this outrage
yet we sit blandly where people 
were dead--had been for ages.

We are the ones who are alleged 
to dust off the drifting ash before 
standoff, feel around for the edge 
of backlash, its puny incoherence.

But we listen; learning now how
all news is unbearable, how it all
allows us to be portals standing
impatient, indifferent, in disgrace.


Monday, June 14, 2021

mixed



Had a welcome breakthrough on a work project and managed to meet a proposal deadline one whole day ahead of deadline.

Took a nap. Woke up because of a horrifying moment in a post-apocalyptic-style dream (someone had tumbled down some stairs because I bumped them and when I went to check on them, I was captured and they started pulling on my clothes... also, my dad was supposed to help me keep watch, but he fell asleep and didn't hear me when I was shouting for help).

I'd planned a "Summer Celebration" to celebrate the end of Nu's 8th grade year.... it literally got rained on after we set the picnic table. 

Ah well, watermelon tastes almost as good indoors too. 


Sunday, June 13, 2021

third wave


A lovely start to the day, going up the riverwalk with L... Then a chat with my sister who said that a third wave is expected in India by the end of the year... After that, everything felt very off for the rest of the day. 

I made a summer soup for dinner in the InstantPot (stove's still not working), but left everyone to their own devices and put myself to bed with a bar of chocolate.

in the midst of life...

We heard that At's 28-year-old ex died.  I expected that everything would have stopped when I opened the eyes I shut in disbelief.  I ki...