MRI

my head brings its own book
my heart sings its own song

This close sky sees everything
is impersonal, is still, strong

I have lived    I am losing
I am living     I am learning

even love cannot shield us from
messages so familiar, of failure

Like a wish polished into prayer
Like a loss, before we call it lost

--------------------
Personal note:
Big A had to have an MRI today for numbness today. We're not sure what that means or what lies ahead for us.

Sssssssscary Shite

Pic from Big A recd. on my way home

If you look closely (if you dare to look)
you'll see a reaaaaally long snakeskin
sloughed off over the kids' scooters
IN THE BASEMENT

Is it still there? Did IT have BABIES?
I was right there just TWO DAYS AGO.
I'm already really terrified of snakes,
and now everything seems extra snake-y.

The kids were amused, but I got my revenge.
I gave them this line that's stuck in my head:
"the snake poured itself down the hole"
Then I cackled as it gave them the shivers.

_

Post

the flicker of your gaze
the burden of your hope
I am an ant under a crumb

this skin's dance is like
first-born-feather-light
of morning snow (I know

we might have gone our true
ways without a clue, except for
some secret script of the universe)

_

Saving Seven Words

Dan Smith‏ @danaturg 22h22 hours ago

I have eaten the fetus that was in the entitlement and which you were vulnerably saving for diversity Forgive me it was transgender so science-based And so evidence-based.

-
Note: This happened.

Jedis at Last

We had tickets to see The Last Jedi the minute they were announced. Actually, a notification that it had been added to the family calendar crawled across my phone screen while I was in class. *

But as it turned out, one of Big A's co-workers had a family emergency and needed to switch shifts with him, so we elected not to go on Friday. The kids are amazing that way--sweetly flexible about changes in plans because the life of an E.R. doc (and their family) is about celebrating Thanksgiving / Christmas / New Year / Birthdays whenever they're off--using the date on the calendar as a recommendation rather than as a deadline. Big A suggested we go without him on Friday and go again on Sunday with him, but At was all, "We can't go without Dad, he started Star Wars." (Compliment rather than accusation, I believe.)

There were moments where I teared up (Chewie telling Luke about Han, Gen. Leia being wished that the force *always* be with her), but the movie was just too dang long.
                                   At: It felt like there was an Act 4
                                   Nu: And an Act 5 and an Act 6...

                         We want to watch The Force Awakens again.

But we managed a family pic before the movies.

___________________________________

* Let me take this moment to mention how much I dislike having to take my phone into the classroom so I can dual-verify login to the class computer!!!!!


-

Fittingly

I had planned to put Kristen Roupenian's Cat Person and Carmen Machado's The Husband Stitch on the reading list for Women's Lit next term as they each blew up online this year...

Today, I made plans to collaborate teaching them with a bunch a strangers (fellow teachers) on an FB group.

The internet is kinda awesome.

_

Reading

Today is a sabotaged page
brutish
dusty
untrustworthy

on the edges of my brain
the hot animal knees
me, tears me,
sees me in tears

on the undercurrent of loss
in the flooding and
leaking
and catching

I can untie words heavy as air
as ephemeral; I am
a lookout, I am
eaten by the sea


(Note: I'm reading Truddi Chase's When Rabbit Howls and took on a new CASA case yesterday)
_