Someone at CNN is snickering sophomoronically

CNN report:

Shanteau, 24, of Lilburn, Georgia, was diagnosed with testicular cancer June 19, a week before he left for the U.S. swim trials.

[down a few paragraphs]

….his girlfriend, Jeri Moss, who played the key role in discovering the cancer...

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Spam trek

Hot on the heels of having several of my online accounts (evite, netflix, gmail, blogger etc.,) hacked, I’m being hit with spam from every where. Even on Flickr.

Ever since I started as poetry editor at _i’m keeping it secret for now_, most of the trash in my trusty gmail spam folder is prefixed with the word “poetry.” Although there’s nothing particularly poetic about it.

You be the judge:

Alfonse Quinlan: For: poetry Britney Spears Shaves Head At Request Of Zombie Overlord
claiborn venkat? For: poetry Britney Spears To Be Adopted By African Child

Umm. Okay?

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Browser gender

I haven't been keeping up with the internets lately, so I don’t know if y'all have already done this test that guesses your gender (although it is expressed in sex rather than gender terms) based on your web browsing history.


Ha! Turns out that I’m well rounded and leap stereotypes at a single bound.

My result:
Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%

Sweet. Treats.

At the antique mall in front of a case of old toothpaste tubes.

Me to my MIL: I used to suck the toothpaste out of discarded tubes on my grandmother’s terrace roof.

MIL to me: Oh. So you wouldn’t eat your lunch (referring to my notorious eating habits), but you would eat toothpaste. Shakes her head at me despairingly.

Me: You don’t understand, my grandmother’s toothpaste was *minty*. My parents made us brush with Forhans--it came in an orange tube and was chalky and horrible. That's why i loved sucking on Colgate.

MIL: Good choice. Did you get all the flouride you wanted?

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Stalkin: I iz doin it

I pass slowly along the extreme side of the road staring hungrily at the house. Then I loop around the block and do it again. Some days I repeat this as many as four times. Sometimes to be discreet, I’ll split it up into two separate visits.

No, not Dave Chappelle’s house--him I’ve gotten used to seeing outside the coffee shop all day and all evening as he hangs with the other townies like a charming porrukki.

It’s the house itself I’m stalking. It won’t be ours until Aug 1. And clearly, I have trouble waiting.

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Bang-Bangalore

I didn't realize that there had been multiple blasts in Bangalore today, until i retrieved a text (nine hours after it was originally sent) that read: Akka, all family in Bangalore are safe and fine."

I started fussing with google searching the news rightaway. Li'l A thought it was just a quaint way of saying "hi." Innocence must be bliss.

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(After)Life

Big A and I, we’re mean parents. We tease the kid (you figured that one out from the last post). But wait, it gets worse. We tease the baby.

Sudden loud noises freak Baby A out. Cute. Funny, actually. She’ll look startled, then the corners of her mouth dip down into a perfect curve, then her lower lip starts wobbling, and then she’ll cry. At this point, we’ll usually scoop her up into our arms and make her smile again, but that lower-lip-downcurl is precious. And rare, since our girl is a usually a tough cookie.

Here’s the really bad thing. Sometimes we yell something: “OMG!” or “The New Yorker!” just to startle her. (And see that lower lip do that thing). We do this sparingly. So far may be a couple of times. (OK, like 16 times).

The number of times I’ve single-handedly instigated Big A into startling the baby is roughly half. But I know I’m the one going to hell for this. Big A won’t because he saves lives and all and God will be all: Aw, he’s such a good person despite everything; heaven. But me with my books-food-fabric-music-artifact-pleasure loving, self-centered life? H-E-double the toothpicks.

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