It was just me and Nu last night...

The news is full of bombs, so of course there were bombs in my dream.

Bombs were falling from the sky, and I was digging something out of the car, Nu was terrified of the bombs and said she was going to hide with the others (not family--the other war victims/refugees) in the ditches, so I tell her ok, go--I'll come join you in just a second. Except I didn't notice in which direction she headed off. So I keep calling her name on the outskirts of every crowd of people, but don't hear her call back to me. I keep doing this for hours... may be days. Until finally, a poor woman with many children (aren't we all poor by this point?) tells me that she remembers Nu and that even as she ran away from the car, "a bomb took her." It had happened the minute we'd parted and I hadn't known. The woman is telling me that she tried to reach her but couldn't, that she remembers her "large, wide eyes."

I looked at the expiry dates on everyone's passports when I woke up. The kids need to renew next year.

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school counselor call + Cesar Sayoc + upcoming travel + Yemen + Gaza + refugees from Honduras + Life + work stress + Adnan Kashoggi + mom and sis traveling to Dubai

Just Sayin'

When you go to school in Westeros

         My subtitle to the new Chanel ad.

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Sunday with Sonia Sotomayor

AAAAAAAAAA. SHE SHOOK THE KIDS' HANDS!! I made them shake mine right after. Haha.

She was here for the one-book-one-community MSU-Lansing event with her My Beloved World. The event was billed as Q&A only, but as she answered questions, she walked around the auditorium connecting with people. She is so awesome, and I kept tearing up with the knowledge that this smart, amiable, down-to-earth person is almost single-handedly keeping us from constitutional ruin.

She said she'd pulled a hamstring as explanation for why she was walking so slowly. I was bit taken aback when she first came in though and had already added her to my list of Supreme Court justices to pray for (#RBGForever).

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Sweet Hobbitses

We walked to the MSU Arboretum today for a world of gardens (Japanese, English, Michigan).

Also, I love my special little juicy hobbit so much.




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Keeping up with the Klansmen

Nu and the puppies stayed home, but the other half of of the family, went to various showings of Spike Lee's BlacKkKlansman. It is a thing of beauty from the way the title is spelled to the tongue-in-cheek super troll move of having Topher Grace play David Duke.

At went with his old H.S. newspaper editor/boss/prom date in the afternoon, and Big A and I headed out later in the day where I had a brief moment of "if someone was going to shoot up a movie theater this weekend, this would be a the one." I did have to take a 15-minute break in the bathroom because it's tough to watch the banality of racism up-close and uninterrupted, but the end was sweetly satisfying.

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"One whale mom/ did all our crying for us"

Paul E. Nelson: Elegy for Tahlequah's Calf

These are the stories the children of our
children will tell if there are storytellers
in their time. How we slept at the switch
ignored the clear signs of doom, how we
were scholars of war & good tweeters

had nice dinner photographs and saved ourselves
from Muslims, immigrants and every vague
threat the cruel majority could conjure
while the world burned and one whale mom
did all our crying for us.

Paul E Nelson
9:24am – 7.28.2018

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Election Day

At went into the day with a lot of hugs, hopes,

and in his orange "Abolish I.C.E." sweatshirt.

I can see him in Abdul's thank-you video

looking earnest, focussed... grownup.

This is the small satisfaction 

I grab from the day.

Backstage Fanboy Pics

Abdul El-Sayed and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

From my very own similarly-hyphenated 

(in identity and name)

fanboy--At.

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"I was teaching the names [of plants] and ignoring their songs.”

Just the most uplifting, poetic On Being with Robin Wall Kimmerer yesterday.



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Families Belong Together

In which I embarrass my family on Facebook

"Tony died."

At came down to breakfast. breaking the news about Anthony Bourdain--apologetically. And now, at the end of the day, I am just grateful that everyone I know online seems to recognize the curiosity, empathy, and generosity that made him so extraordinary. Big A had worked overnight, but I knew that this would be the one celeb whose passing would affect him. And sure enough, as soon as he got off his shift, he texted: "Tony died." We have all his books, watched some of his shows back when we had time, and knew enough to love him. And all my media and/or NYC people had stories about meeting him, of him being an ally without making it all about himself.

On the way home from getting Nu from school, while we were waiting for the train to clear the tracks, we were rear-ended. I had taken the puppies for a little car ride, and Huck is so tiny that she flew into Nu's lap from the backseat. I went to talk to the driver of the other car, and it was a young woman who immediately began apologizing so profusely, all my criticisms were silenced. It looked like both cars were fine, and she swore that she wasn't texting, so I told her to be safe, and brought the kids home. Big A was rather loud and adamant that I should have taken her insurance information anyway.

Of course, I've been crying--somewhat disproportionately--since then.
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Justice for Asifa

I feel a murderous rage coming on. I can't get the story of this child's face out of my head.

My dad was fond of the radical Tamizh poet Bharathiyaar who claimed, “Thani oruvanukku unavillai enil jagathinai azhithiduvom” (If even just one person does not have sustenance, let's burn down the whole world). 

And that's how I'm feeling today. No one deserves to be happy, no one deserves to live. Let's just nuke the planet and be done with this. 

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Junk Food and Socio-economic Class

I may be crying a little after reading how junk food has different values and meanings dependent on families' socio-economic status.

"For parents raising their kids in poverty, having to say "no" was a part of daily life. Their financial circumstances forced them to deny their children's requests — for a new pair of Nikes, say, or a trip to Disneyland — all the time. This wasn't tough for the kids alone; it also left the poor parents feeling guilty and inadequate. 

Next to all the things poor parents truly couldn't afford, junk food was something they could often say "yes" to. Poor parents told me they could almost always scrounge up a dollar to buy their kids a can of soda or a bag of chips. So when poor parents could afford to oblige such requests, they did."

Maps

My heart's fierce routes traverse here
maps curve cathedral arms out there

feelings scrambling across my face
in the stutter of heightened fights

I can miss all the people you have been,
the punctuation and pitch of your voices

I can learn all the places you have been
this body is--those borders are--prisons

I fill my thoughts with plots. Of weeping
until we drown--all the places in this town


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Time to go

Last night, I dreamt that I was looking over grandmother's old house by the sea. I was talking to my aunt and Big A about how it would make sense to get it (buy it?). I think we had decided to go for it until I remembered that the water from the faucets used to stain everything grey and wondered if that still happened and were there loud trains in the backyard?

The night before that, I dreamt of huge temple festival crowds. And among them, I found my mother with her friends. They were in full temple-going mode--vibrant silk saris and gem-studded jewelry and... were taking turns standing on a grate. Mom was so embarrassed to see me, but managed to hug me tight and whisper that I shouldn't tell anyone.

Both dreams were dotted with apocalyptic climate change motifs--rising seas, shimmering heat, crop failures--I blame the eco-criticism-ecofeminism class.

Is This Land is Your Land? 

Environment and Culture in the Anthropocene 

ENG 180/WGS 280

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He Takes his Spike Lee Seriously

YES

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I solemnly swear

HOLY

FUCK.

NOW WHAT?

The kids and I turned up at the Mall for the rally, but they had already taken off... we did catch sight of them at College Corner though. They were magnificent.

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