Monday, May 24, 2021
quiet
Sunday, May 23, 2021
easy like Sunday afternoon
(I needed this interlude today--I made an impulsive grocery trip to get some ingredients for Big A's Boss Day dinner and OMG all the unmasked people.)
Over on Scroll, a shortlist of seven philosophers who can help us build back a better post-pandemic world.
Saturday, May 22, 2021
passing/passage
So this was me for the rest of the evening as I started and finished a novel--Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half--in one long gulp. I read the parts about passing breathlessly--racial passing + gender/trans passing. And it began to feel like being an immigrant is also somewhat like passing--in the sense that you leave an old self behind, propelled as much by necessity and accident as by some form of selfishness/self-centeredness.
Wednesday, May 19, 2021
context
accomplishing joy
surfacing tree brown
I come back to my body
through the sacred,
absurd landscape
of patience
[Pic: Scout and Huck hanging out with me in puppy pose.]
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Friday, May 14, 2021
plot twist
It got better when Nu got their first shot of the Pfizer vaccine at a drive-through clinic excellently organized by MI state and operated by some lovely people from the National Guard.
It got even better when the U of M adolescent gender services clinic called to set up an appointment for us next Friday.
And then like an absolute champion, I got all the student letters of recommendation I was working on--off to students/universities/programs.
It was when I was sending out those letters that I realized I had somehow missed the faculty meeting that was noted in my calendar and my online scheduler.
Whoops.
Thursday, May 13, 2021
dissonance
On the one hand: Getting to hang out with dear (vaccinated) friends at a brewpub (first time in 14 months); planning to get Nu to a walk-in vaccination clinic this weekend now that vaccinations have been approved for the 12 and above set.
On the other hand: Whatsapp messages on cousins' chat sharing fundraisers for treatment for people they personally know; Facebook posts about relatives in India sick and dying.
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
long day's journey...
Headed up to Alma afterwards for meetings and things with At. He DJ-ed a podcast he wanted me to listen to about the Cuban revolution and and hearing about Meyer Lansky aligned nicely with segments of The Godfather Part II, which I'm watching bit by bit with Big A.
Back home, we made dinner (last week's leftover rice, +beans, +a bag of 'power blend' veggies in a stirfry, a big green salad, and a mango-blueberry-orange fruit salad), set the table, ate, talked over music, and cleared up in just under 90 minutes--At called it "efficient." Nu headed to bed early after a few rounds of cards and the puppies and I napped together for a bit until it was time to send Big A off to work.
Saturday, May 08, 2021
This is only a test
A. clap his hands in delight and pronounce it charming (no chance of this)
B. shake his head with a rueful smile and ask me to move them soon (probably)
C-F. any response less loving/indulgent than B.
(Dear Diary, he got a B.)
Wednesday, May 05, 2021
"maybe I'm just too demanding"
Got grades done yesterday; long meetings today; all-day meetings with the Board of Trustees tomorrow; multiple meetings Friday. My annual faculty update is due next month. I'd better find a way to set boundaries and make summer writing work for me if I don't want a repeat of last year's lost summer.
Monday, May 03, 2021
promise
Thursday, April 29, 2021
Friday, April 23, 2021
reflection
Somehow, I love these colors and shapes together.
[MSU Horticultural Gardens]
Wednesday, April 21, 2021
"make me a channel"
Otherwise a busy, busy, busy day with meetings starting at 8 am and student grading, consultations, and some cheerleading/handholding throughout.
Because I was personally in a funk (™my dad) last week, I forgot to say how proud I am of my students who did a wonderful job with the WGS symposium and then over-performed on Honors Day despite all the pandemic-inherent obstacles. Hearing their idealistic and confident descriptions of why their humanities research was important made me tear up more than once. And one of my sponsees took the humanities Kapp Prize.
AK wrote me: You know your students today were rock-stars right? Your light as a teacher has clearly lit them up as well. While that's clearly a kind overstatement, and I don't want to take away from my students' clear sense of agency and genius--it nevertheless made me feel like I was doing good in this world. Even if only as an intermediary.
Tuesday, April 20, 2021
onwards
I was on my way home, but had to pull over to the side of the road when the verdict was read out.
Later, driving past Ithaca, I watched a police car speeding down a side road parallel to the highway until it disappeared.
Felt surreal.
[Mural: Aziz Asmar in Idlib, Syria]
Monday, April 19, 2021
please distract me
I found some late hellebores and early daisies by the pond to distract me... Then work with students took up the rest of the day.
My social media is heartbreaking right now, with Indian friends looking for leads on plasma, drugs, ventilators, hospital beds...
My sister and I were wondering if our parents should get tested--I was worried about further exposure, but apparently there are teams that do home visits.
Late (very late) last night, a bookclub friend posted that their little one had broken their arm and that they were headed to the E.R. Big A was working in the ED, so I checked with him and gave them his work cell. This morning when I thanked Big A, I told him that when he's away, working nights, taking care of populations usually under-cared for, I feel I'm doing something good for the world too (although all I'm actually doing is wandering around insomniac and doomscrolling).
Saturday, April 17, 2021
break
I had to push myself to put on my hiking boots and meet L this morning, but I'm glad I did... a bramble-y, mossy trek through Ely Woods along the Red Cedar, a brilliant blue sky, and L listening without judgement made things a bit bearable.
I thought I would work in the garden for a bit when I got home... but I didn't.
I actually don't know what I did today. Ha.
Thursday, April 15, 2021
CW
I'm awake for all the usual wrong reasons
and Adam Toledo Adam Toledo
Adam Toledo Adam Toledo.
Adam Toledo Adam Toledo
And now FedEx Indianapolis.
mass shooting police shooting
police shooting mass shooting
Adam Toledo Adam Toledo
Adam Toledo
Tuesday, April 13, 2021
simmer
I'm stopped at the traffic light at on my way home and it turns into a wait for the slowest train in the world to pass.
There's a rap on the window and At's face beaming down at me. I unlock the doors, he pops in, I hug him so hard. He takes off his mask; I tell him to keep it on; he's all "but we're vaccinated;" and I'm all "you haven't had the second shot yet." Then he's referencing something about Bill Gates and vaccines--maybe this?
I begin laughing because it's so random--and as I told him, in a couple of days I'm going to think I dreamt this whole sequence of things.
And I'm laughing because I'm so relieved to see and hold him on yet another day when to be the mother of a brown-skinned man is a day for a slow simmering fear.
Sunday, April 11, 2021
Breath Song
I can barely make sense as it swells
like lichen or love, the secrets it tells
Drawn between its vague borders
[Picture from my perch where I was reading in the afternoon sun; wearing a faded, stained--but still favorited--summer blouse; marveling how the cherry blossoms are here practically overnight.]
Reentry
I think that was a solid vacation--it didn't feel "fake" to me at all. I had a lovely time, meeting people Big A works with wa...
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Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford. _
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I have the feeling that I’m going to succumb to the season and put out a list of resolutions soon. Just wanted to establish this heads up th...
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At had us pose for this pic up at Aunt R's place on Lake Huron so he could put it up in his dorm. "Don't tur...