I went with people, but was still a bit nervous about being grabbed off the street and sent off to a jail somewhere. It's just that crazy out there these days or I'm just that crazy these days. Either way.
Just to make sure I looped in some joy, I hit the Farmer's Market and went to a graduation party as well.
Pic: The crowd of protestors at the Capitol this morning.
Nance asked if the kids were jealous that we went to the concert. Not really. For one we'd offered to take them. For another, they had major plans.
Nu had been excited to attend an online college orientation. They did attend and seem even more oriented and ready now.
At was scheduled to facilitate this zoom webinar on organizing in the workplace with Senator Bernie Sanders and Harini Sudhakar.
I got a kind of shout-out. When talking about the importance of socializing with coworkers, At mentioned how one of his coworkers had been an Indian woman with kids who didn't socialize in the usual way outside of work. But At's "Indian mom" (me!) invited her over to dinner and At was able to get to know her better that way. I guess I'm part of labor history now!
Pic: I couldn't watch the event live because I was at the concert, but At just sent me a recording of the webinar, and this was the moment Senator Sanders thanked At for her work before he left. At's text to the family chat was right--Bernie does pronounce At's Sanskrit name perfectly.
I love Kendrick Lamar's work. I don't know SZA's work other than the bangers and her duets with him, but the young people seemed very into her. It's kinda an odd professional pairing--he's a poet and... she's a different kind of poet, I guess.
In any case, I was reminded how much the lyrics to "Alright" had become an anthem in the first phase of the Black Lives Matter protests (before George Floyd). (Lump-in-my-throat moment.) It's a great reminder for our present. We've been here before: "We gon' be alright/ Do you hear me, do you feel me? /We gon' be alright."
Pic: We had very good seats, but I couldn't see much. In the picture, the real Kendrick is in the center (really tiny), and I contented myself with the screen versions most of the time.
"If your tactics disrupt the order of things under capitalism, you may well be accused of violence, because "violence" is an elastic term often deployed to vilify people who threaten the status quo... Conditions that the state characterizes as "peaceful" are, in reality, quite violent. Even as people experience the violence of poverty, the torture of imprisonment, the brutality of policing, the denial of health care, and many other violent functions of this system, we are told we are experiencing peace, so long as everyone is cooperating. When state actors refer to "peace," they are really talking about order."
2) As of today, little puppy Lego is still available. I thought today (Boss Day!) would be decision day, but Big A asked what if Max and Lego (who will be Max's size when full grown) gang up on Huck who is tiny and old--that is giving me pause. Also, should I be taking all the puppies? I feel a bit greedy like the Melissa McCarthy character in Bridesmaids. (But then look how happy she looks!)
1) My book was done. But I now have to make some serious edits because it's about trans politics, and the last few months have changed the landscape of trans rights significantly. The illustrator came through with some amazing work this week, and that is giving me the boost I need to complete this task.
2) I started the year wanting to get out a chapbook of poetry, and have made absolutely no progress. I have not even made any moves or submitted to any journals or anthologies. It's June. I should start. I'm glad it's summer and have some time to devote to this project.
3) Pic: Contributor copies of a poetry anthology I have a few poems in arrived today. Right now, it's available on Amazon, but I'm avoiding that site. It should be available directly from the press soon. All the poems in this anthology started here on the blog--most have undergone massive revisions except the one I wrote for Nu, which shows up with minor tweaks.
A day for visitors!
L and I took a long summery walk in the morning and then L disappeared for a while and showed up bearing this month's bookclub book and a ton of cut lilacs from her garden. The whole downstairs smells so heady.
LV stopped by later for tea and treats and we just jabbered away through tons of stuff and pizza delivery and he helped me break up Max's excited and immediate friendship with the pizza man + desire to explore his van. LV didn't leave until the imminent arrival of my C U N(ext)T(uesday) club, where he rightly felt he would be out of place.
Big A and Nu crept in during the short time no one was around to sneak some pizza for dinner before doing their own thing (nap before work, swim with friends).
It was supposed to be pizza and movie night, but the girlfriends did not pick a movie and we just talked for hours instead. We're going to do the celebrations everyone feels they missed out on--BL didn't get a bachelorette party during the pandemic, for instance.
Everyone agreed that I need a third puppy, so I either have the best friends or they're all enablers. I got to confess in a safe and supportive space that the other day I thought Nu was kissing me goodnight, but they were actually kissing me goodbye, and I didn't realize until the morning that they had not spent the night at home. I did not know where my kid was at 10 pm or any point after. Yikes.
Pic: Peonies from my walk with L this morning. What even are these colors?! I love summer.
The NWSA proposal EM and I submitted together didn't get accepted, but the one I submitted by myself did. I wanted to go with her!
I ran out of moisturizer while traveling with the kids and sampled Nu's Vanicream, and it's a dream. It may be the one thing Miranda July got right in All Fours. (That and the bit about dogs.)
I got my travel course evals--high marks, but very few comments. It would have been nice if some of the kind things people wrote in cards and emails were in the course evals--I'm up for assessment the year after next.
I got a copy of American Dirt by Jeanine Cummings (from a Goodwill) because a student (Hi, CW!) wanted to work on it and am reading it now. I expected to hate every minute of its appropriative voice... but have to say it's quite respectful and suspenseful.
A poetry anthology I have some poems in is now on Amazon and getting promoted heavily by the editors... and I'm worried my mom might see. I know she'll not like that I wrote about some of those topics.
Pic: I watched this frog swim up to the little solar fountain like they were a kid in summer camp swimming up to the buoy in the middle of the lake. Their name is Popchyk. (Big A is reading The Goldfinch on my recommendation and we talk about the puppy more than any other character.)
(Incidentally, "accommodate" is a word Magic Johnson, once a player at this very stadium, used very inventively. As in: "I did my best to accommodate as many women as I could." They have his name up there and it reminded me.)
Anyway, it was a full day--breakfast with one set of grandparents, lunch with another, then off to pick up people for the ceremony, and back at our place for dinner... Nu is currently away celebrating with friends.
I can't wait to get into my summer routine. Tomorrow we have an all-day department workshop. So perhaps I can start from this weekend, which conveniently happens to be the beginning of June? Yay!
Pic: Watching as the students throw their caps into the air. How much hope for the future is gathered in this one place! I clapped for each and every graduate and am so happy and hopeful for all of them. I wish admin could have found a way to spend a moment to honor the senior student who died last year.
As did this quote from Robin Wall Kimmerer (Braiding Sweetgrass) that came to me via L:
"Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift."
Pic: This winsome chipmunk who lives inside my broken Buddha also brought me cheer yesterday.
I did not expect to be overcome by such crushing sadness today. I was happy to be headed home, but with the travel term and the wedding (two of my big summer things) safely in the past, all the things I've tried to set aside spilled over inside.
I guess there were fissures all along if I look back. My strangely titled post about cousins, for instance, is likely because I was trying to suppress having read about Dr. Alaa al-Najjar, the Palestinian pediatrician who had to identify the charred bodies of nine of her children after an Israeli airstrike on her home that day.
Another airstrike yesterday on a school being used as a refuge by families yesterday, and I think the fact that my tax dollars contributed to this and supports the systematic starvation of hundreds of thousands of people feels too much. All the donations we make personally will not help if there is no food to be bought. How have we--as humans, as Americans--let this genocide continue for 19 months?
(There was also the minor stress of sharing a hotel room with my kids, one of whom continued to feel a bit under the weather. Did I wish they'd do a bit more? Yes. Did I ask? No. I need to get better about this.)
Anyway, it all came to a head when we were dropping At off at her place. I started crying, then At and Nu were also sharing sad snippets and crying in the car. Big A was calling to find out where we were, but I couldn't even pick up the calls. Then At suggested a walk around the block to clear our heads. So we walked for a while... we found a small park and Nu and At gave the spinners a go.
Pic: Nu and At at the park. It made me smile to see my kids... acting like kids.
But first breakfast with Daria! The conversation was nonstop, tripping over the many, many things we have in common--teaching, growing up in a different country, poetry... And things we don't--like Daria's love for camping. I loved how she described the night sky looking back at her when she is in her tent so much, it became the title of this post. Both Daria and I are spare writers--we rarely have posts that are pages long--but we chatted and laughed our way through 2-3 hours so easily. I really, really, really hope to meet Daria again. Maybe in Michigan? The Midwest?
Another highlight was meeting PRS after years--we go back decades and she is likely the brainiest person I know and I love her so much. She is uncompromisingly honest, so when she says she is proud of me for building a home where my kids can chart "their comfort journeys home to themselves," it is something to truly treasure. She does not hesitate on calling me on my nonsense, and once I swallow my initial defensive responses, I can see where I can do better. PRS is writing full-time now--when we first met, she was doing something her parents wanted her to. I am so ready to see her long-form work in print.
Pic: Beautiful Daria gave me this exqusite edition of Anna Akhmatova's poetry that I will treasure forever.
Pic: Cousin K's friend who spent Diwali with us last November took this picture of me, Nu, and At before the evening festivities started.
A parade, party, people, people I haven't seen in years, dancing... I was so happy.
Nu was a bit under the weather (hence their mask), so I thought we should leave early. But the kids convinced me that At would take Nu back to the hotel and I should stay and enjoy.
And so I did.
When I texted Big A about Cousin N, he texted back that pediatricians are the best. (Cousin N used to be At's pediatrician when At was a toddler, actually.)
And Cousin K, the bride, has just matched with the pediatrics residency program at New York presbyterian. She's very good with kids too and the reason why Nu, so notoriously averse to big gatherings, decided to do this trip--because toddler Nu was a big fan of Cousin K.
And I hope At will have a good time at the wedding. It's her first big family gathering since transitioning. I don't expect anyone will be mean--everyone was simply lovely when we shared Nu's transition at another wedding, and there are other trans and non-binary kids in the family, but At might be the first trans woman. It's not a big reveal--I've had heart-to-hearts with my cousins about it + At and the kid cousins share social media, but there are bound to be people who will be finding out for the first time.
Pic: I caught sight of this pair of mallards in the pond this morning and was worried they might nest here, because I've done my reading. Baby ducklings would have been cute, but I wasn't sure if Max and Huck would be gentle with them, so I acted like a very noisy human and they decided to leave.
This morning, there were some rooms at a hotel nearby, so we're all set.
Also, I didn't set up plans with NJ/NY people for the day after the reception, which looks free.
And... I didn't finish inviting people to Nu's grad party next week. I should get on that too.
Today was just lovely. So much time with Max, Huck, and Nu (who conveniently had senior skip day). Then I watered the zillion plants. Most of them made it without me or water for two weeks! Some dry leaves, but nothing a few good soaks won't make up for. Only the the bleeding hearts and some herbs, gave up. Sounds like I'm throwing old-fashioned insults, but those are the literal plants that didn't make it.
A long, lingering dinner catching up on all the little details of the past two weeks was balm for my soul. Also yummy--we combined, polished up, and then polished off two Thai dishes Big A had experimented with over the weekend.
Pic: Things abloom in London. I haven't taken a single photo since I got home.
There are thirteen of us at the table. But just our awesome, regular selves. (No Jesuses or Judases.)
Headed for home come morning! At least half the class has journaled about not being ready to head home. Not me though.
I was both right to be worried about the tornado yesterday, and judging from the photos of the devastation I've been seeing, I wasn't nearly worried enough! I did tell Big A that I thought he should call in back-up and go home to check on the kids, but he talked me down. And I quote: "It’s inconceivable that our house alone was hit by a tornado without damage to any other structures. Meaning if Nu was under rubble EMS would already be on our street." And later, "I have multiple sick patients right now and multiple procedures….I can’t leave anytime soon regardless." Plenty of room for a fight, but I'm just glad everyone is alright.
Pic: A lucky restaurant find--a "food hall" with a variety of cuisines. So perfectly in keeping with our "cosmopolitan" theme.
my mother is old, my father older the hopes in my heart older too I will them to come back daily the way every day shows the way every day ...
