My India fam is visiting with friends until Friday morning. Another friend may come to us from Friday to Sunday (when they will leave). Yesterday's lunch choice was IHOP ( a solid choice) but I slipped up and got into a debate about politics (bad choice).
I wonder if this is why I live so far away? I don't know that I could take people I love so much saying stuff all the time like, "But if you give the poor things for free they'll become lazy and won't work." When I heard that, I went hot and my voice got very quavery. I know how precarious the day-to-day is for so many people and how hard they work at all sorts of things so they can stay alive.
And then I heard it, the constant chorus from my childhood: "Don't be so idealistic."
But why the heck not?
8 comments:
Sometimes it's hard not to get into those kinds of debates with loved ones - I get it, but it is rarely, if ever, satisfying. I have come to a point where I just don't. It's hard when you have opposing views with people who you love.
My mom's family is politically divided with a lot of them far right and it's hard for her. (Less so for me, because I'm not close to most of them.) Maybe the visit was just long enough for what you need from each other.
Take care.
Yes, why the heck not? Of course there will be some who won't work for it, but that number pales exponentially to those who either cannot work or who are working jobs that barely make rent, food or child expenses. It's only by holding our ground that we can hope to (if not change) modify thought of those who think otherwise. I think there is always at least one person in every extended family where the political division is great. In Rick's, two of the five brothers are out there protesting (Rick and Randy) and three on the "other side." Very far right. Sometimes you just can't have the discussions -- it gets too stressful. And that's so very sad.
Sending big love!
I can relate to a variation of what you wrote & understand the struggle between loving those close to you and speaking up for what you believe. It’s hard and often there isn’t a fully “correct” way to go about it. Sending a Subway sandwich hug your way! ❤️
-Steph
I can so relate as my parents and most of my siblings have very different political views. I try to avoid talking about politics as much as possible but the more Trump supporters around me, the more lightly they will talk about politics and I just shut down.
I hate that view about helping the poor. It assumes they never want to rise above their socioeconomic level. I think most want a better life and more stability for themselves and their family.
Then why did language have to come up with the term "the working poor"? Honestly, that mindset is so incredibly frustrating.
And moreso coming from people in your own family. Sigh.
I read M Gessen's piece when it came out. It was frightening in its calm reasoning.
The ideal family visit is so often different than the reality. I’m glad that you are finding joy with your family, but sorry that these discussions also are taking place. FRUSTRATING when people you love think so differently than you do. Our local board of supervisors recently approved a test for a universal basic income, which would give money to a small percentage of people in need, including folks who are recently released from prison. Of course, the conversation is, “GIVING CRIMINALS OUR MONEY” when it COULD BE, “HELPING TO PREVENT RECIDIVISM AND SAVE TAX DOLLARS”. So often, ‘giving’ people things for free saves society in the (not all that) long run. And also, it helps those people, which shouldn’t be such a big stretch.
Going to read that piece now.
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