Off to Grand Rapids today to visit the #1 Sculpture Park in the USA (are there others?) and then dinner at a friend's place until late at night when we had to break away to do our nightly video call with dad.
Already mom is feeling some anxiety about being away from dad.
Already I feel like I'm going through the motions and not enjoying this moment as much as I could be. I know I'll look back on this trip... I know we couldn't have done more, but I think I could do better compartmentalizing some of my grief about SLE so not making more of this amazing time we have together doesn't become another regret to tote.
Pic: Sis, Nu, and mom at Meijer Gardens. The majestic greenhouses are in the background.
5 comments:
Ugh, Maya, it's so hard! It's such a shame you have to deal with this grief right when your family is here. I think you just have to tell yourself you're doing the best you possibly can under the circumstances. Yes, you definitely don't want to look back on this visit with regret. It's all easier said than done though- it's a difficult situation. Hugs. <3
I'm sure your family will understand. The important thing is being together. There's a big sculpture garden in Minneapolis, I think. And of course, DC. We thought about popping in there when we were on the mall 4th of July weekend, but by the time we got there it had closed for the day.
It is hard. I try so hard to "be in the moment" right now, wherever I am, but there are other places that need me, too. Life is never as easy as we want it to be, is it?
I bet your family understands that you are grieving a sudden loss. But it is hard to be in the moment even when not dealing with a catastrophic loss. There are a lot of things that pull at our attention. But I still think you will all look back on this time together with fondness!
So hard when you have a much anticipated visit from some of your very favorite people on Earth, people you don’t get to see often, and then something happens that pulls your thoughts and heart away from it. And you want to be in the moment with them, now, but that’s not really realistic when you are in the midst of grief. BIG HUGS. I have had similar experiences many times, with the loss of my parents, and Mulder, and trying to enjoy life going on around me. It’s hard. In the words of Lou Reed, “Life’s good, but not fair at all.”
Post a Comment