Wednesday, September 21, 2022

*three thoughts *on the third day *of the work week

*Lots going on in the world outside and students were on fire today, discussing--the Hijab protests in Iran, the Venezuelans trafficked to Martha's Vineyard, the floods in Pakistan and Puerto Rico... 

*I felt buoyed today by an internet friend becoming a more IRL friend, work friends finding non work ways to connect, and my sister's glee that her birthday is "just four months away."

*When I need to laugh, I come back to this picture of "Kangaroo Huck" with her feet rudely positioned on Scout's butt, her "dress" askew, looking at me for pets. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

look up

I had to run an errand on the far side of town and found myself getting dejected by it as I always do... the houses seem to be falling down a bit more than normal, the cars seem rustier and noisier...

And I say this as someone who lives in a house whose roof has leaked for at least three years and has not been fixed although roof-work started [... and stopped] at the beginning of summer and as someone who drove a car with a busted-up headlight for nearly six months this year after my 'deer incident' as there were no replacement parts available.

But I know it's not really the same thing. My dejection is because how that is yet another nudge about how we live in a world of inequity, recognizing how huge this is, and coming to terms that it's not something I can ever begin to fix by myself. 

And then on my way home I came to this crossroads (It reads: ML King Jr. Blvd and Malcolm X St). That made me smile so big because sometimes I talk myself through social situations by asking myself if I want to do it "like Martin or like Malcolm?"

Dr. King's uncle was a local Lansing pastor and Minister Malcolm, of course, grew up in Lansing. A gray-ish day and an unexceptional photograph, but a good reminder of a moment that lifted me up.

Monday, September 19, 2022

start over


Borrowing this picture from TJA who used it as a reminder that we can all start over. 

Things can change...

I know I can grow.

Sunday, September 18, 2022

how do you know

how do you know
the sudden bunny in the trees
a streak of white tail a trail
ringing in the heart 

how do you know
the storm hovering overhead
brooding here, eager to grab
cobwebs and hope

how do you know
the scream waiting in readiness 
to jump out of the darkness
that is my throat 

I don't know 
I wait to reckon with these knots 
with silent prayers to calm
the angry seas inside 

Pic: Nu and At taking off for a walk-and-talk post dinner. Things did not go as I'd hoped. 

Saturday, September 17, 2022

time begins to hurt when

the leaf's green and the river's green 
hesitate on unripeness 
but I am sun-warmed and life-bound 
and have to try it

for you are taller than I can remember
stronger than you know
yet here I am trying to keep the monster
hidden... and quiet

O hush little baby, let's flee this moment 
in its blossoming bruises
for my mind is still trapped underwater
and cannot anchor it 

 Pic: Red Cedar, earlier this week. (I needed a reminder of calm after some particularly horrible hours this morning. I'm thankful for Big A being there and community help.)

Friday, September 16, 2022

five Friday yays

Got a shoutout from the wonderful Melissa at Stirrup Queens... that always makes my week!

Finished up work for the week--even got in a couple of things ahead of deadline (to make up for the things past due). 

Nu and I got home around the same time. We're watching Riverdale together per Nu's request. It's so over the top, we keep laughing--so I guess that's the good part. 

A quick dinner prep and then off to the train station. Nu DJ-ed through the train delay and then finally we got Big A home. We'll have him for about 36 hours.

Pic: Big A and Huck who are bestest pals reunited. 

Thursday, September 15, 2022

what was I thinking?

I wanted to (re)read some Mary Stewart, who's been a comfort read since my teens, and picked Wildfire at Midnight, which was my first Mary Stewart and a book I'd originally picked somewhat serendipitously from the untouched hardback section in the Holy Angels Convent library. I was so taken by it, I retold it frame-by-frame to my sister and cousins at our sleepover later that week.

Anyway... So I had very good reasons to pick Wildfire... And yes, the language and descriptions were just as flawless and the murder mystery just as intriguing. But of course the historical moment is a key player too--the conquest of Everest by Tenzing and Hillary and... the coronation of QEII.

I guess subliminal colonialism is a thing.

Pic: Reading my Mary Stewart compendium with Scout and Huck.

"I'm a weirdo/doofus/nerd/naif" (Part MXVIII)

I realized during my meditation this morning that my energy for contacting so many people yesterday (the "emotional labor" that St...