the great outdoors

It's true there's a lot of stuff I have no control over right now. And some issues (Nu care, roof rot, etc.) are serious and I need to work on them constantly. 

But... after I meditated yesterday, I realized that I haven't been spending time outside as much as I used to after the garden was squashed. Yet I need the outdoors and summer sunshine now more than ever. It's a bit like that Zen saying about meditation itself? "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” 

I should be spending MORE time outside not less. Inside is chores and worrying. Outside is sunshine and wonder. I can do better and be better when I feel better. 

Today I had a ramble in Ted Black Woods with L and T and biked with Big A after dinner.

Tomorrow I will spend time in the hammock.

Pic: Ted Black Woods

they say you're only as happy as your unhappiest child

...and they would be right. 

My kids aren't alright.

These two synchronized sleepers are mostly ok, (though a bit lonely with At away and Big A gone so much).

At is a bit stressed about NLRB elections especially since the only other Chipotle to apply for a union is being shut down as this article details.

Nu is having a very tough time although we've surrounded him with love and support. All I can do is try harder. 

my boy anchors me

A lot happening in life and (pattern-wise) in this picture. 

But all I can see is Scout's paw on my foot as I'm working.

This child anchors me day and night.

one child

one child says their name is nothing
one child says they love you not
one child says they love you 
but not themselves

one child has put themselves to bed

one child refuses to go to sleep

one child just can't stand it

can never rest enough

one child lies without thinking twice

one child tells only horrific truths

one child will read nothing 

says everything is dumb 

one child is too large for this house

one child is tiny enough to vanish

one child doesn't want to know 

there's only one... child...

Pic: Red Cedar River, mental health walk by myself. 

A Warning

gnawing

annoying

day opens 

its jaws

like danger

it is considered natural here

to be golden in the moment 

then vanish and be replaced

for all you know is bravery

when you have no memory

of the sky

the hawk 

in the sky

where the

others went

Pic and notes: Koi at MSU Radiology Gardens. They're always so tiny because the bigger ones are snatched by hawks (and then replaced by staff). 

hope as the thing that perches

I was on one of my marathon phone calls with my sister (early morning here, evening there) when this brilliant rainbow patch appeared on my leg (from a crystal mobile in the window).

Between its appearance and my Chelli's confidence in me, I'm hopeful for the upcoming week.

today

Today, I needed the woods and a hike with  L.

Then yoga with Big A via Portal, A trip to the dollar store with Nu, a call to Cousin N to arrange next week's family get together, a long soak, leftovers for dinner. 

A take-it-easy kinda day.

(I'll deal with health insurance claims, roof repairs, departmental re-visioning, editing, etc. next week.)

Pic: Baker Woods, MSU