Warmth

Sometimes it is the surprise present 

an old, dear friend slipped 

into our luggage as we said goodbye 

(a present I didn't find until weeks later 

because I left for the conference 

the very day we got home)

that is the sweetest

and warmest.

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Second Christmas

In YS, and the only picture I got all weekend was of the grandparents' goodbye...

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The End

They'll be home from YS soon
And then night comes
or falls--depends
on whom you ask


Time to wrap babies and burritos
while birds dip their wings
in sunsets
and vanish

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Blast from the Past

Yesterday's prom photo extravaganza

made us moms reminisce 

Their playdates and sleepovers,

 their silly sing alongs...

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Testing

Their sister
is at retreat/
long camp
(rehab)

Then when
they took tests
to see if they too
were dependent

they found only
two options:
dependent OR
very dependent

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Wishing I were there...

Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford.

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A Dimple in Time

In the middle of August 

four years ago, I uploaded 

this picture of Nu to FB.

It was whimsically captioned:

 "One day, the child made a wish--

and then summer started."

My sister's school friend

(newly friended) found it 

today, liked it. Others did too.

I looked through that 

entire album at work

and missed my babies.

She was just two then 

she's headed for Grade 2

this August. Soon.

So small and squishy, right? 

But I remember thinking then

that she'd become a big kid.

Ok, yes.

Time is fleeting,

but it's also so ridiculous.

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Surprise Portrait

This showed up in my message folder...

There usually aren't (m)any pictures of us

Another thing I really like is how we're  

flanked by a portrait of Big A as a kid…


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All I remember from Christmas...

YSO

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(I need a) Smile

At blogged about this a long time ago.

He titled it Paul Simon Enjoys Subs:

(In case you can't read it, it says:

"The words of the prophets are written on the Subway (sic) walls."

So meta.)

O.K. Camp

A couple of weeks ago, the kids were finally at the eco-camps they'd been talking about for about two months. It was kind of a big deal/special year since it was going to be the last year At (14) could go before he aged out and the first time Nu (5) would be old enough to go.

They had a nice beginning to the week, bumping into each other in the cafe, being assigned as buddies (completely randomly, per Nu ;), and then midweek this happened.

On Thursday, deputies, law enforcement officers and a K-9 unit from several area agencies searched the park, the Glen Helen Education Center on State Route 343 and neighboring areas, sheriff’s Maj. Eric Spicer said. The 1,000-acre nature preserve is an entity of the college, located adjacent to the campus.The gunman was spotted near the Outdoor Education Center at Glen Helen at about 11:30 a.m. According to a witness there, the man approached a dorm and when a counselor asked him to leave, the man displayed a gun.“He more or less implied and made a menacing statement to them,” Spicer said. 

It turns out now that the college-aged counsellor had made the whole thing up. And everyone's angry because it was horrifying and also what a waste of tax-payer resource$, etc, etc.

I'm mostly okay with it. Because unlike the nightmares I've had since Newtown, this one case--this one very special case involving my very own children--seemed to have ended well: there was a gunman around the kids; no one got hurt. If we can't prevent men with guns showing up at kids' schools and camps, this should be the way it always ends.

Or the gunmen can be totally imaginary--I'm okay with that too; I could sleep through that.

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There (and Back Again)

Tired, waiting at the door
yet another rehearsal.
Deportations.
Surrenders--
blur

On folded legs and wheels
we've accumulated maps
for wrongs, words,
and soon--
an edge

I learn to suspect horizons
and they harbor storms
their pennant winds
find us, rush us
clean

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Stranger

(Kids at school, Big A sleeping off a night shift, My TTR class done) I took a hike.

At minute 1:24, I saw two figures--one of whom had a strange, lopping, unsteady gait. I began prickling with wariness... Till they got closer and I could see it was a nice woman with a headband, walking her horse.

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Half Empty

We've emptied and packed half the house... the pile of paperwork keeps growing...

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Dayton Dragons

Found out that they play baseball (not basketball); headed back to the car for some pizza and heat while the other Ohioans in the family pranced around on the lawn in 46-degree weather.

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Visitors:

First these two crept in

And then there was even more sunshine

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No Good, Very Bad Day

It's only March, but it feels like May. Warm and toasty. Earth's heating up. Global Warming.

And you can thank me (or kick me). I parked the car in the university parking lot at 9 (running late because Cousin N forgot that she'd promised to take Baby A to school), and returned to it at 10:45 (after several surprise student conferences). To FIND THE ENGINE STILL RUNNING.

The hybrid engine (yes, we have some half-assed intention of conserving fuel) is so quiet (and I had turned the radio down to ask for a visitor parking pass, because my parking permit was in the other car, which had to be TOWED to Columbus yesterday because it broke down) that I hadn't realized that the engine was on.

Home now with two kids sick with snot (and feeling like I deserve this).

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The Gift of the Police

The local police chief has grandkids similar in age to my kids--I rolled along in his wake this morning as he dropped off the older child at the middle school, and then turned around to drop off the younger one at the hippie alternative school Baby A goes to. Since he was driving under the 20 mph speed limit, I had plenty of time to notice that his license plates were the first three letters of Li'l A's name.

I told him in the parking lot that he has interesting license plates.

And... it turns out that the car is going to be auctioned.

So... if Li'l A wants, he can have the license plates.

And the best part is that they're undercover license plates.

I know at least one geeky tween who's going to be so happy on the ride back home!

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Me, Michigan

I've been abruptly announcing to everyone that we're moving to Michigan. Mostly, I don't believe it myself, so saying it aloud and experiencing hearing it is an exercise in extreme dislocation.

Speaking of which--holy selling-house, packing-up, finding-place-to-live, enrolling-everyone-in-new schools!  Lag Liv has been doing this with the kind of aplomb that should be inspiring or frightening, but we're not there yet.

Also, at last parent discussion (that's me and Big A) we decided that we should probably rent for a year before we build our own house. Everything that's out there is either small and dingy with wall-to-wall or huge and ostentatious with wall-to-wall. (Little A has the kind of asthma that's terrified of wall-to-wall.) One house I've been looking at repeatedly, is a not-so-charming trifecta of vinyl siding, beige carpet, and ranch rambling everywhere. It bears little connection to my dream house on Pinterest. But it sits on a lake and one of the online pictures captures the rising sun dead center through the huge windows. I could live with that view for the rest of my life.

But as Big A pointed out, it's inside a gated community and sits on a private lake, and has an obnoxious number of rooms. Where we live now--we live on the edge of a small lake, but it's a semi-public lake and we have neighbors who walk across our yard to visit friends in the nursing home on the other side. That's who we should continue to be. (See, he's not always about fart jokes!) In any case,  Big A is interviewing in Michigan again at the end of the month, so we'll have a better idea of where we could live then...

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Hope (n.) Vs. Hope (v.)

Five students have followed me from last semester and into the new class that started yesterday, so I should be feeling validated as a teacher.

But the teaching gig that I applied to back in November and sent additional material to in December, and interviewed for in Seattle in January, and have obsessed about since I first heard about it in April of 2011 has completely passed me by.

Other scholars have received follow up interviews.

But not me. not me.

Disbelief and crying.

Crying and wondering.

L & N tell me there's something better in store.

I hope so.

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