And apropos of yesterday, I want to remember how the thought of going to the interview without seeing L made me so panicky... L is everything I imagined the USA to be, and I'm lucky the universe brought me to her in 2016, the most disconsolate point of my American dream.
Thursday, October 22, 2020
Aglow
Monday, October 19, 2020
Sing
Every night quakes lightly
--like childhood's laughter.
Quick, give me a new thing
to see--yes, you, so beautiful
to me. America,
you're breaking
me.
______________________________________________
Earthquake dreams, deadlines, fears, news, OMG.
Sunday, October 18, 2020
Day Before Deadline
But the memory of a snuggle with this scaly giant yesterday, the card and chocolate-chip cookies BS dropped off, and the proliferating heart emojis via text will keep me going...
Saturday, October 17, 2020
Not There Yet
And I won't finish to the standard I want to today.
But look at this beauty, LB and TB in the distance, and Nu and Big A further down the street fast asleep in their beds... (not pictured!!)
Time to go back and give it another go!
Friday, October 16, 2020
A breath from the past
Eyde Woods, Red Cedar River, Wednesday's hike with L.
(Have been in class/in meetings/on calls/on the couch all day today.)
Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Fall All Over
I'm all over Fall (yay!)
I'm all over Fall (blah)
Fall is all (almost) over
It's Fall everywhere.
I fall everywhere.
(I cycle through all this; yesterday's picture from Baker Woods.)
Saturday, October 10, 2020
Time (Into the Pandemic)
(I know)
hours are not the apocalypse
(imagine)
I search their mists and dusts
for security
composting fair warnings
once again
I have searched the horizon
where sun blinks
this day into some montage
of time-lapse
Friday, October 02, 2020
Radio News
The WH Covid superspreader events and all their painful consequences were always so preventable--that part really bothers me. Thousands of people could have been alive today... Maybe we could even have been headed back to the old normal...
Also on the radio--I heard Allie Brosh sob and I wonder if her new book is maybe too sad for me RN, but there's a sweet chapter up at her old blog.
Thursday, October 01, 2020
On my way home
But I got to see At for a bit--both of us masked--and give him a 'backhug' and a (new to him) Du Bois for his Boss Day (tomorrow); a small but affectionate pre-class chat with my mom; knowing I will see NuScoutHuck in minutes...
Then a leg of this rainbow (such an intense VIOLET!) and a go-go-go green light--and there's a definite feeling of "yes" in the air.
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Pardons <> Gardens
But that day was not today. By 9:00 am I had already been in two meetings, and between regularly-scheduled meetings, a CASA-training webinar, student conferences, and a faculty-wide caucus, the intensity continued until 5:00. Sometimes I had to use two monitors to juggle my overcommitments.
But the spoooooky syllabus (Culture and the Supernatural) for the second seven-week course set to start next week is all done!
Monday, September 28, 2020
First Flicker
In the beginning lives
a first flicker of flame
that lick of loneliness
lighting an underworld.
The sky may be still
dark with our leaving
life, it is difficult--all
tall ideas, left as yes.
Sunday, September 27, 2020
Almost 13
When they're hidden, I can use other signs and senses to make sure they're ok.
I trust they'll be able to make the right decisions when I'm too far away to help--moving away from strangers, stepping off the path when necessary.
It helps that they stop when the path forks, wordlessly discussing the way forward with me.
Saturday, September 26, 2020
Wild Things
All of this made me quite anxious.
All of this made me very happy.
__________________________
I chaired the WGS sessions of the MASAL conference from home; finalized the WLC second-seven week course syllabus; worked on Nu's birthday plans; hiked with L; practiced saying "fiddly," "wobbly," and "stodgy" in preparation for watching GBBO later in the evening... Full day.
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
Steadying as we go
And now here we are post autumnal equinox: Dot, dot, dot... dun, dun, dun...
But actually, at this point in the day--all I can see here is golden sun and the budding promise of the day.
Monday, September 21, 2020
So Many Meetings
So Too many meetings, an eternal leap--just so
But some things are useful; anyone could do this.
They say I mean a thousand things--warning:
I may have cried about it and made it important
but it's just the spin of the world, a spell shortened.
Doubts nest together like spoons--they question
smarts or scope or if I'm dope. I'll fiddle with my
mic, memorize hopes cresting the tip of prayer,
behind my curtain of tongue, my blanket of sleep
and an inevitably unreadable ticking to tomorrow.
(Here I am bundled up for sitting outside for hours in barely 60 degree weather, looking like a fool, and I kinda secretly love it.)
Sunday, September 20, 2020
The one with the masks
but also masks and distancing.
Eight + hours spent in the car
but also four hours of visiting
and lots of talks and talking
and smiling and sharing and handholding.
Time + travel have been weird and slippery
but I wish we'd visited sooner--
Also: I ate a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell. So many Desi and veggie friends were absolutely crushed that it's being retired and I'd never had it and didn't know what to think. Now I know; AFAIC, it can go.
Today will have to be about rest and prep and knowing Monday is coming.
Thursday, September 17, 2020
A Day
Another day, another week of classes done, another Covid test in one of these tents with a very gentle health tech who thinks small colleges are doing better than the bigger ones around us.
Another set of dinners delivered to new parents, two new babies met from a great distance, a chat in the sunshine with JG (it had gotten chilly and my coat was in the car, so she stood me in a spotlight of sunshine to warm me up), and a very hungry drive home.
Got home, collected my household around me for hugs and leftovers for dinner.
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
Today is enough
I can't even seem to word why I'm so tired and defeated. Big A thinks my weltschmerz is creeping higher. Kids and work and volunteer work usually help to distract me, so I'm going to try that first, then if those fail--a walk, a nap, some reading.
Last week's picture of weeds, and native cone flowers, and a distracted monarch to remind me to go outside today.
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
Homing
Back in the before times while we were hosting 4Fs (Fun Friday Film Fests) BS used to say that turning into our driveway made her feel like she was in a Studio Ghibli movie. I see bunnies, butterflies, deer, turkeys, geese, groundhogs, and chipmunks all the time, so--same girl, same!
Also, the kids find it hilarious that in some low-key way, I'm always expecting a pony to pop its head over the slatted side gate to say hello when I get home. (I've never had a pony in my life.)
Monday, September 14, 2020
Six Months; Six Words
indefinite night-day-night / no insight
(Six months since our stay-at-home order and a six-word memoir inspired by the NYT pandemic poetry piece.)
"I'm a weirdo/doofus/nerd/naif" (Part XVVIII)
I realized during my meditation this morning that my energy for contacting so many people yesterday (the "emotional labor" that St...
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Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford. _
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At had us pose for this pic up at Aunt R's place on Lake Huron so he could put it up in his dorm. "Don't tur...
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I have the feeling that I’m going to succumb to the season and put out a list of resolutions soon. Just wanted to establish this heads up th...