[Pic: Made it to Ted Black Woods with L this morning--before the downpour.)
Tuesday, June 29, 2021
cloudburst
Sunday, June 27, 2021
feeling--recursive
--every time I send one
to you, sister
you demand to know where I am.
I'm behind the camera,
I travel back
with the sticky facts of tenderness.
What could ever replace
you reminding me
to burn like fire, like diamonds
the beloved coal of my body
hybrid, haptic, whole
[Pic: An indoors kind of day; the kids have to delink settler colonialism and Catan for me every time.]
Saturday, June 26, 2021
weather or not
Rain again today; lots of it! But we snuck some other stuff in there as well.
Met up with DD and TD who are visiting Lansing after 15 months for a walk outside and a catch up.
Pride Parade was rained out, but the kids and I went to Salus Center's open house and my gay babies got some merch to supplement the stuff they got at our in-home pre-Pride party yesterday.
I made "leftover rice" for dinner (rice from Indian takeout; bean and corn salsa + tomato, cilantro, and onion salsa from our pre-Pride-party's "rainbow nachos;" veggie sausage, seasoned potatoes, frozen veggies, a pinch of garam masala, and a couple of teaspoons of ghee... voila).
Then the weather alert system started going off on the radio and our phones, and tornado sirens started up too, so we all trooped into the basement (Scout and Huck anxious, Big A needing to sleep before work) for an hour and half of weather-mandated family time 😅😂.
[Pic: We found this highly apropos duo of national flags outside Salus! My parents were so delighted by this photo 😇.]
Wednesday, June 23, 2021
if it wasn't already clear...
Jackie Sumell's "A Solitary Greenhouse" asks us to imagine a world without prisons. The link has better photos and text.
From a walk through Beal Gardens.
Sunday, June 20, 2021
Fathers' Day*
The kids and I called my dad last night (already Fathers' Day in India) while my sister was making him a "full English breakfast." Everyone was super excited and happy and talking over each other and couldn't hear very well. My dad legit couldn't hear us, I suspect 😞.
At and Nu took Big A brunch in bed and got him a couple of cans of the beer he likes and a very VSCO beer cozy. They said all they knew walking into the store was that the kind Big A likes had fish on the logo... they nailed it.
Pic: My one fancy nursery planter splurge didn't make it too long before it was colonized by a family of house sparrows in the most beautiful, mossy nest I've ever seen. But now the baby birds have flown and I am going to see if I can rejuvenate the planter.
* I'm going to punctuate it this way and not this.
Saturday, June 19, 2021
I said
[Pic: cobwebs-bridge-Red Cedar River]
Friday, June 18, 2021
shadow friends
[Pic: L and I being silly with our shadows in the Red Cedar on Farm Lane yesterday.]
Thursday, June 17, 2021
starting summer
Monday, June 14, 2021
mixed
Had a welcome breakthrough on a work project and managed to meet a proposal deadline one whole day ahead of deadline.
Took a nap. Woke up because of a horrifying moment in a post-apocalyptic-style dream (someone had tumbled down some stairs because I bumped them and when I went to check on them, I was captured and they started pulling on my clothes... also, my dad was supposed to help me keep watch, but he fell asleep and didn't hear me when I was shouting for help).
I'd planned a "Summer Celebration" to celebrate the end of Nu's 8th grade year.... it literally got rained on after we set the picnic table.
Ah well, watermelon tastes almost as good indoors too.
Saturday, June 12, 2021
"and also with you"
MC's ordination today: KB drove here from Alma and then I drove us both to the church. It felt a bit like a road trip and I did all the chatting and checking-in my heart desired. The ordination was communal and loving and there was lots of singing (and cake afterwards). I loved it all.
My first car trip with someone outside the family; first gathering with strangers; first church service in over a year. You'd think I'd have needed and thus attended more services online this past year, but... no; I haven't.
[Pic: Detail from St. Paul's in Jackson, MI]
Friday, June 11, 2021
they rock
Tidying up a box full of old greeting cards and mementoes, I came upon this (fairly humdrum) rock. I'm guessing one of the kids gave it to me. I honestly have no idea which kid or when or why.
I checked with them to see if they remembered, but they don't, so I'm releasing this one into the wild, wide world.
I miss my tiny kids and their sincere, impromptu prezzies. 🥰
Thursday, June 10, 2021
gaze
hold my own hand as it trembles
a stare still lies a bit out of reach
grows into a new part of my body
my body goes old young indifferent
time folding across like a clock-face
and hands clap for what comes next
texting alien syllables from my name
Sunday, June 06, 2021
a two-hike kinda day
First was the usual one with L, getting to the MSU gardens just as the sun was beginning to skim the tops of the waterlilies and set off the frogs like blobby, plopping fireworks.
Later, I managed to somehow ruin the stove when some lentils boiled over. Now I wouldn't be able to make the raw mango dal, a summer staple from my childhood. I made do by microwaving the chunks of mango and adding it to some canned cannellini beans. A heaping spoonful of turmeric, the tadka I'd made earlier, and a good potato masher... and I could imagine it came from a kitchen long, long ago untouched by canned beans, a potato masher, or a microwave. L showed up like a lifesaver bearing an electric skillet she had in her basement, and I used it to make aloo parathas later.
I'm glad I made it to Ted Black Woods with BS after all that. The woods were lovely and deep--as was talking to B. I needed that.
(L doesn't mask outdoors, B does; I am ok taking my cues from whatever my companions are comfortable with now.)
Saturday, June 05, 2021
what's up
Behind me, Nu and L are intently listening to our neighbors give them a crash course in raising chickens. I guess what's up... really is chicken butt (and a significant amount of chicken poop).
It seems like a A LOT of work, but Nu and L are determined to make it work. I've already politely excused myself from from mucking out the chicken coop, which will live in L's yard. I guess I'd feed the little babies whenever there's no one else to do it. 🐣🐥
Friday, June 04, 2021
"food for thought"
The wonderful ladies of "Food for Thought Book Club" down by the Red Cedar River in LB's backyard...
Vaccinated, unmasked, outdoors.
I handled it.
I *enjoyed* it.
I'd forgotten how lovely communal joy can feel...
Wednesday, June 02, 2021
interlude
I found this fellow at the waterlily pond in the horticultural gardens today. The colors here remind me of the first edition cover of Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things--which At is reading (for the first time) currently. I hope he likes it...
Decades ago, I used to find it impossible to love anyone who didn't like Roy's novel.
I'm so much mellower now.
Tuesday, June 01, 2021
minding the gap
I'm also dismayed--“In an interconnected world, none of us is safe until all of us are safe.”
Sunday, May 30, 2021
reentry
But that's probably for the best. Today I (zoom) attended the feminist book club after a hiatus. I remembered that the last time I was here, I bolted because I had a mystery panic attack.
As EM said earlier today, it's "weird to be around other people." Even for me--living with a lovely houseful and having taught in person all year long--agoraphobia seems to manifest every time I consider an event/interaction/outing. Yesterday I hiked with Big A and didn't wear a mask. I had been persuaded by pronouncements that outdoor transmission is highly unlikely (+ did not want to stand out like a freak). But it took some stern talking to myself. And even admitting I enjoyed being maskless outdoors feels odd somehow. But I did, so there.
Saturday, May 29, 2021
At's graduation redux!
At is in graduation robes again, the sibs are wearing ties, we got grandparents and family on FaceTime/WhatsApp...
It was a bit chaotic and didn't go completely as planned, but this international photoshoot is the closest we're getting to a graduation party this year.
Friday, May 28, 2021
out in the world
Cool: a quiet, erotic, irate interval
Do you know what that was about?
Am I willful? Were you not warned
of fracture and ephemera and erasure
What if I expunged my loud laughter--
Would you still call me an emergency?
Would you call me into queer songs
fold me into arms, siblings-in-arms?
If not, why do we come here then?
my beautiful baby
It has been a year. Some days it feels like yesterday, some days it feels like a distant dream of love. There have been tears every day...
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Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford. _
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At had us pose for this pic up at Aunt R's place on Lake Huron so he could put it up in his dorm. "Don't tur...
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I have the feeling that I’m going to succumb to the season and put out a list of resolutions soon. Just wanted to establish this heads up th...