everyone comes in crying
and they slap you into it if not
everyone should fade away
held soft in love and memories
and they slap you into it if not
everyone should fade away
held soft in love and memories
so time comes forward
like the very next verse in a song
a wormhole to eternity
narrating the next up tempo jump
you're a child carried to bed:
dim room, steady hands, hushed love
safe now to dream of skies
as we're all right here in the next room
_______________
Note: Three months today. I'm struggling a lot--with grief--but also trying to understand the finality of it all, the seemingly meaningless trick--where did they go?
Nance described something similar reading obituaries in the wake of her father's death, "I'd read them, look at the photos, and feel a sense of real awe and loss that This Was A Person Who Was No Longer Here."
I think I'm trying to figure it out... Like what is this cosmology and can I speak it into being?
______________
Pic: An icy Red Cedar and lots of intrepid ducks with Big A.
1 comment:
This is a time of year when grief hits especially hard -- so much cheer, gatherings, so many happy people -- and we don't feel like we are one or want to be part of any of them. We do -- and we don't. We go through the motions and sometimes even are able to push those feelings into the back of our minds for a bit, but then life quiets and they pop up. We're tired, so much going on. Then this grief burst hits again and we wonder how we can put one foot in front of the other. But we do. I go through an annual grief bump in December too -- but I've had 22 years since, enough for it to soften. They do soften, Maya. But not yet. So be kind to yourself, gentle. Everyone grieves differently, in different times and ways. Please don't hesitate to remind those around you who might not quite "get it" that you grieve on your own schedule, nothing textbook or linear. You will walk through this forest, you will come out of the side. And you will always, always have the love that you were blessed to be given in your heart to help carry you through. Biggest hugs.
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