Saturday, September 12, 2020

Portraits of the day

               

Morn                                  Noon                             Afternoon                 
Morning (LB)Noon  (RM)Afternoon (BS)               
                     (Baker Woodlot with LB)            (Our driveway with RM)            (Nemoke Trail with BS and C Bear)           
 

Friday, September 11, 2020

A Lot

There's been a lot of this all week--gray, grainy, grimy weather and consequently there's been a lot of basic, blah moodiness. 

I'm pretty proud of how we've managed to come through three weeks of in-person classes with no spikes in our Covid numbers; of my students who are journaling like champions; my Nu who seems quite businesslike in handling their own online learning... 

And yet, everything is simultaneously sad and difficult--and feels like a lot to handle. 

In today's virtual faculty meeting, my colleagues were mostly on mute and off camera (by request), and it just emphasized how I never see them in the hallways anymore. And then at the end... the retirement resolution for JG--who'd shown up to my job talk, befriended me the summer I moved to MI, has been mentor and sister and friend...  and it was too, too much. I went looking for someone to give me a hug and got some from Nu, Big, A and (of course!) Scout  + Huck. "Surrogate hugs" as I explained to JG--the renowned hugger--in a call later in the evening through a third or fourth round of tears.

I'm trying to remember that when I took this picture at the end of some long day this past week, I thought I could see glimmers and shafts of light--what Pix and I and other Sacred Heart School kids used to call "heavenly blessings" when we used to try standing in these sunlit spotlights before exams. I can barely see them in this picture, yet I know they were there. 

Wednesday, September 09, 2020

Badtime Story



Like siblings of yore on the landscape,

ribboned close always: rivers, railroads.


Playing--in plain sight, side-by-side, not hiding;

where you seek one--oh, look--there's the other.


Long, rowdy sibling things: one loud, one low--

now masked, now sparring--whatever--they are 


like pandemic warnings, insistent--more forlorn by the day:

I think I'm meant to mourn, and--following them--get away.

_________________

Note 1: We live between the river and the railroad, so I have lived experience of course; but this insight is from Krueger's This Tender Land.

Note 2: Toddler Nu used to pronounce the open e almost as a schwa eg. "Natflix" (for Netflix), "grat" (for great, which we still emulate for cuteness on family chat). 

Note 3: Things seem much quieter along the railroad these days--fewer goods traversing the continent or whatever--I don't know.

Note 4: I took this picture of the Red Cedar River last week; L claimed to be able to see hints of Fall.

Monday, September 07, 2020

Talisman



When tongues tip to farewell

--fare well, fare wonderfully.

Like strangers, like heartbeat:

"Thank you for my childhood."

"Thank you for being my child."


* I tried to tell Scout this isn't yoga, but he just pouted.


Sunday, September 06, 2020

A Little Love / Chorus (On)Line

wait and know the coming / of a little love ~ Carl Sandburg


Beginning is quiet

a blink, a tap, then waking

our eyes, the screen, and yearning


I think about people 

we used to know, used to date   

how we lost them to love and--fate  


How we used to see them 

now and then in waning memories / 

when tagged in other people's new stories.


I hug care's sharp blade

through tongue and thoughts

histories, our hearts; hear it whistle


where they're not, no return

Why? Asking did the virus happen--

Are they ghosts? Are they ghosting?


what we are built for

in the days when the kids were smaller and my parents younger and they lived here  six months of the year                                   ...