My youngest student today...

So quiet and studious in my FYS class today…

_

Trans-Local

Dad's big birthday today

We're just too far away.

But we get

an archana and a pattu

veshti for Ganesha.

And for ourselves,

lunch (with Mimosas).

Now we''re celebrating

(Even though

the birthday boy is teetotal.)

_

Siblings

Happy Raksha Bandan, little ones

May you always love each other

and be each other's protection.

_

After I flew back from India…

All of NuNu's butterflies 

were ready to fly away…

_

From Dinosaurs to Diner

These two are the best.

(We went to Jurassic World before lunch.)

-

Child Services might want to take a look at this journal

(Lilliana was a kind little girl who loved loins...)

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I love my students...

And some days they love me back extra...

_

Power Fails

Light a candle

And wait...

_

At Yellowstone...

I had visions of puppies playing in the water.

But they were convinced the wavelets were foe.

_

I Just Can't Get Enough

 The Grand Tetons...

More like the GRANDEST.

Road Trip

Are there tigers in Scotland?

Face-painted at the Highland Festival.

_

Doll + Baby

Clem got glasses too

like Nu

(in New York).

_

For these things...

Thankful 

for the window,

and for it being okay

to leave it open today

__

Another Two-Puppy Night

You'd have thought that 

we were safely in the warm.

But tonight, it's time once again

to break out the big comforters

and both the puppies...

_

Second Chances

It was really At's second chance

(he'd forgotten his algebra packet

and I was taking it to him...)

But going down that road again

The sun beaming down on me,

It felt like mine too.

No...

This is not a still from A Beautiful Mind.

We painted the kids' closets 

with blackboard paint 

when we moved in

And Nu loves it.
Clearly.

_

One Stew to Carry it all and Cure Us

At's sick… he wanted...

something hot and soothing for dinner.

Behold our soup 

with every ingredient known to help colds:

Chicken, mackerel, 

ginger root, garlic, tomatoes,

cabbage, broccoli,

black pepper, turmeric, 

mint and jalapeños,

sprinkles of salt

Then a bit of limon and C's salsa 

from the summer of 2014 for heat.

It's delicious and magical.

__

My Monday Challenge

My Monday Challenge is basically... trying not to claw my arms off or take my shirt off in the office. The sweater I have on is miraculously comfy on my torso, but sososo itchy on my arms!

For the first time since I've had a job--practically--I'm counting down the hours before I can go home.

_

Compense

Wrestling an ocean of sky

the lyrics of whited valleys,

I crave the salt of the wind

the taste of words whipped

with sea air (hold the snow).

This land calls me by all names

But holds itself cold and aloof 

hushing with remembered formality

calculations, welcomes, and reunions.

_

A Warming Trend

Finally making it out of the negative double digits...

_

Twice as Nice

The "Railway Clock" 

my parents gave us is finally up.

(Now we can panic about school drop off

coming down AND going up the hallway…)

Seeing Clearly

And suddenly… she needed heavy glasses.

All the times signboards went unread or 

wildlife stayed invisible now makes sense :/.

_

Midday/Half a World Away

These names are written under my skin

Their faces are painted on every mirror.

_

Moment

I've climbed a tree
and I'm talking down

to you.
The moon,

stony-faced, circles the empty basketball net,
is reflected in a crescent of watermelon.


_

Testing

Their sister
is at retreat/
long camp
(rehab)

Then when
they took tests
to see if they too
were dependent

they found only
two options:
dependent OR
very dependent

__

On the Night it Comes

You're calm, sleeping
with the lights on
between both parents

growing ghosts
deliciously
for the thrill of it

blankets in a clutch
with a firm hold
of yourself

in the old silence
in the odd silence
lips

are layered
with prayers
in the shadows

just beyond
the frame
of side vision

darkness strays.
It reads you
and then stays

bending
at the waist
from far away

and if it doesn't
come further,
or get too close

you could still love it

_

Un-Prayer

these fingers twin
from shaping time
your hair sinuous
works its way alive

this gaze is like god's--
absolutely no concern
marking a jigsaw world
blowing a heady wind

the song rises
but the dance clings
fears and errors tell
warnings and knells

_

MacGirlver

Rigged myself a standing desk.

(Then sat down at the computer to post about it.)

_

Unexpectedly...

 The family portrait my mom so desired

turns out a bit Jindalesque?

_

Ms. God's Class Project

Color Nu excited.

Really?!?!

Is this a reasonable time to come home?

We've been waiting up for you.

_

Melting...

(Not the snow in Michigan, sadly.)

Just my sentimental mama heart 

when I come across these two

holding hands and talking 

on the walk home. 

_

The Sense of an Ending

the sky is a staircase
the sounds of the day
going away

The dark is to
tear down stars
all of ours

squeeze their affluent
and vintage shine
wet as wine

_

When making people happy

becomes almost as important 

as doing the right thing

(or doing the thing right).

_

Cloud 9(00000000000000000000000000)

(in sight, anyway)

_

Malaysian Airlines?

At asks

when I send a picture of my empty row.

Laugh or cry?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

_

Exeter/Exiting

Perhaps the way in was also the way out…

A Third Coast

On the brine of memory
the ink of veins marks spots

It is a storm of forgetting;
at each sob, she jettisons

Parents as they were, embraces
in sorrow how they now are

sweeps it all into feeling
grabbing and flailing even so

_

Wishing I were there...

Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford.

_

Stand Down

Reaching for amusement
but the door slams

meticulous and tight.
Spinning silently,

breath touches corners
and then as surely

is inhaled back in
brittle as silk

_

Novemberance

Foreshortened day,

unwelcome touch,

and unkind light.

I read the warnings,

count out their syllables. 

Then snow webs 

untidy, un-mappable, 

planting everywhere.

Racing, erasing my flesh, 

being, becoming my body.

_

Keepsake

         a smile-dusted child

swarms grandly
up hope's slope
unfurls something

         bigger than the world

mouth stretched wide
so smiles endearments
all--are kinds of kisses

_

Cuddle

Tired out from a play-date

(where they didn't play).

_

Ugh, Bill Cosby

In the wake of Trayvon Martin and Michael Browne, I found The Cosby Show on TVLND and it became a habit to watch/listen to reruns while I folded laundry or cleaned. It was somewhat escapist and a little bit inspiring to hark back to some golden age where a sitcom about a black family was the show of choice for most of middle America. Internally, I quietly disagreed with much of Clive Huxtable's parenting; separately, I vociferously disagreed with Bill Cosby's pronouncements about "Welfare Moms and Thugs," still it carried on.

Until all these reports of Bill Cosby's rape of multiple young (and teen) women.

_

Absence

Well, I don't know.

In small portions

this body would be fields

of stupid ideas repeated

a concussion of cowardice

in all the openings

of kind words unsaid.

But where are you?

It's time to feed ghosts at the

pressing behest of their buttons

And soon we'll be: 

ancient or innocent

epochal or whatever

and just not the same.

_

In Silence

Speaking still
in triangles
the moon's half smile
last night gazes zen

past the brazen
stare of the phone
which kisses my fingers
promises to wake at four

And after that, the flare
of the soft scimitar
of your mouth
dim with sleep

_

Silently

All day

I heard every word that wasn't said.

_

Shoreline

Bruised and accumulating
the lichen of thought
and the plenty
of quarrels

quarrying then policing
altering but falling
belonging
(to none)

these are the tidal drags
the smash of boredom
the open fall
of over

_

Hello

Distance

At today's potluck, I couldn't say

why we didn't come last month.

I don't know what we were doing

but it was October, and I can guess.

Still don't know if we're near or far

…just trying to keep looking ahead.

_

A New Day

It's early in the leaden morning: 

an unknown red truck 

in the driveway.

Whose?!?

(It's At's friend… 

who spent the night 

and doesn't need a ride anymore.)

-

Never Alone

I'll need a weekend to myself

after A gets home next week.

_

Now

I think we're all preparing

And I think we're all underprepared

_

A Reminder

_

Hand-in-hand

It was tense at work and dull outside,

but seeing these two get off the bus

was all smiles, songs, and blessings...

_

First, coffee

...then 26.2 miles

(NYC Marathon 2014)

_

And on the Fifth Day...

A went to Chicago for a conference FOUR days ago.

It's a testament to the effed-up-ness of his work schedule that the kids finally got around to wondering where he was this morning.

OR

It's a testament to how technology can keep us connected despite distance--they've been texting, emailing, and talking all along.


-

Summary

Morning
is a kaleidoscope calling out
--although it is hard to hear
I answer: Yes? Hello?
as though speaking into
an old-fashioned telephone

Night
mimics birds bedding,
my arms punctured now
by pain, pine-tree needles.
In the end, the day leaves
unnoticed and uncomposed

_

Eerily, just this morning a colleague told me that he'd sent out a job application to the U of Wyoming at Laramie, and then we had the near-obligatory talk about Matthew Shepard.

An hour after, I find in this weekend's edition of The Guardian--a truther-style story about details that might have been suppressed in the race to anoint Shepard as a poster-boy for anti-hate legislation.

We seem to prefer heroes on a template, but details are not the enemy.

_

Nostalgia and Kindness

It's true that every time I hear this song, it brings a lump to my throat.


Nu says, "That's like you, Mama. You left your mom and Dad too."

At silently thumps me on my shoulder. (Somewhat smirkily, the way he seems to do everything these days, but still kindly.)

Broods: Mother and Father

_

A Quiet Thanksgiving

Right now
the afternoon brightens
the dogs sleep
beside me

the last of the corn
and the best acorn squash
from the garden are
roasting from light to gold

The kids sleep one room away
done with every weekend activity
A stumbled home from a night shift
and also sleeps

I? I have something completely
unrelated to work to read
while the week's laundry
churns itself clean and dry

Sounds so ordinary
but this hasn't happened
in years. It is a returning
peace, to be thankful.

_

The Backstory...

So Nu has a 'sister' at school.

"Angel and I do every thing together. We're really, really sisters."

I get it. Sometimes having a loving big brother is not really your thing, and you need someone  more like the giggly tweens populating the shows your parents decided to ration.

"We're really, really, REALLY sisters."

I guess?

"You see--before dad met you, he and Angel's mom had Angel."

It takes a while to convince her that I'm really uncomfortable with this scenario...

"That's ok, I don't think Angel would mind if we switch it up and make it about you and her dad."


_

We're calling this event "Synchronized Sleeping."

(And clearly, we're champions!)

_

It's Summer… Summer… Summer… and time

for reading under the trees...

_

#OffTarget

Adding to the #offtarget movement:

Less is more?

At loses nine (nine!!) teeth at one go.
(Because his orthodontist says so.)

Resemblance!

The eyes (and nose) have it…

_

Yes! Mazel!

(I'm secretly rather proud 

of the place cards I made.)

The Future's so Bright...

Honors' Day…

_